Posted in darkness and light, Inspiration, Personal Story

When We Are Free

I’ve just been through another dark night of the soul.

I’ve been through them before, ones that lasted days, weeks, months, even years.

The intensity of my darkest night only lasted 24 hours but the ongoing situation is much longer.

My dark night was intense, powerful, transformational and illuminating.

As I reflect back, I notice how much stronger I’ve become and how quickly I turned it around.

I can see how necessary and useful it was.

It came about because of a situation that many go through.

We reach a certain age when our widowed, aged parent is no longer coping.

Somebody needs to step up.

Maybe we’re the only one who can or will do that.

We do our best to make sure our vulnerable parent is looked after, helped to find their best life, a life where they’re safe, loved, happy and able to live every day with the best quality of life available to them.

We explain all the options and make sure there are choices.

Maybe that parent cannot make the decisions we think are best for them.

Maybe they are choosing what is neither safe nor wise anymore.

Maybe it’s difficult because of dementia, mental health, or simply a stubborn disposition.

Maybe the parent has all those things going on.

Maybe there comes a time when we have to make tough decisions for them, just to keep them safe.

Maybe we place ourselves in the firing line to do it.

Maybe we’re the only one prepared to act according to their best interests and that makes us the villain, at least in the eyes of our parent.

Maybe we spent the last few decades knowing this time would eventually come and always wondered what it would be like, how we’d cope, how our parent would be.

If we’re unlucky, maybe our parent will turn against us.

We may falter. We may take it personally, who wouldn’t?

We may be criticised, blamed, accused, when all we’re trying to do is the best thing that can be done.

And perhaps our childhood selves will come to the fore because this is the parent our inner child remembers.

The one who criticised, blamed and didn’t know how to love us.

And if it happens like this, it’s not a bad thing.

If we go through this dark night, we face truth once more, seeing new light, allowing more feelings to be released.

We are cleansed further.

We are not the same as our childhood selves,

We have gathered many resources along the way.

We have learnt how to be our own parent.

This time, we are different.

We are not looking for anything from our parent now.

We are not needing anything now.

We find it inside.

We are free.

If we are by their side at all, let it not be because we have to be but because we choose to be.

Even when it’s the hardest thing to be there.

Even if we keep getting slapped in the face.

Even when they spit hateful words at us.

Or spread them about us behind our back.

Or when we see our parent is showering our sibling with loving words that we don’t receive, even though they make excuses and don’t show up for them.

We choose to forgive.

Forgive ourselves and forgive our parent.

Because we are free.

And they, bless their soul, are not.

[lmage: Owl heart reflection photograph by aol.co.uk]

Author:

If there’s a word that describes Amenet’s offering to humanity, it’s power. Everything comes through so powerfully. If there’s a word that describes what brings that power through, it’s love. Amenet embodies a foundation of love and love is the vehicle that transports all she does. Amenet is a lightworker and darkworker. She walks as confidently in the shadows as she does in the sun. She knows that the shadows contain the greatest gifts and that they are created from the light. Without light, there are no shadows. Her work is rooted in truth. Her role of service is dedicated to helping others become the truth of their being, which means embodying their soul on Earth and moving forward on their journey of fulfilment. She has been gifted with extraordinary skills and abilities; an intuition as sharp as a razor, a channel as wide open as the night sky. An innate understanding of energy that enables the most profound relationship with the invisible world all around us, the world of spirit. And the ability to heal what is ready to be healed. She knows how to call in the invisible world and deliver healing to support your journey to fulfilment. She sees what others don’t see, she knows what others can only guess at. Amenet brings divine magic to all she does and invites you to engage with magic too. If you step forward to work with Amenet, you are opening up to transformation. You are inviting an acceleration of your growth and are likely to experience fundamental changes in your life, not always what you were expecting, always what you needed most. Amenet is a vehicle through which spirit moves, so you are really engaging with the universal energies and divine source that moves through her on your behalf. You are inviting their participation to answer your questions and bring the support and healing you are ready to embrace. Amenet has travelled through sixty years upon the Earth, hers is a story of being unwanted, unloved, through adoption, abandonment and rejection. She had to fight to survive abuse and learn to find her truth. She did it the hard way. It was the way that was needed to ensure she understands you and your journey, for she knows that you have walked through some dark shadows too. Amenet knows you have a story of struggle and growth, sometimes it feels too much to bear, sometimes it’s like being on top of the world. She can truly say she has been there too. She has the eyes to really see you. She has the ears to really hear you. She can look into your heart and see the soul that you are. She will help you remember who you are, that you are a being of love made of light. When everything is taken away from us, even love or worthiness, we have no other option but to go on a journey of rediscovery until we remember our truth. Our truth is that we are divine beings, the embodiment of love. The only way to embrace that truth is to walk through the dark shadows until we claim it all.

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