Posted in artistic, darkness and light, healing, inner child, love, Poetry, shadow self, transformation

Searching for Love

Is there anybody searching for love they never had?

Searching, yet, on self-destruct cos things are getting bad.

Because it’s quite a journey, not feeling worth a damn

Makes who you are feel like nothing but a sham.

Were you told no-one could love you?

‘Cos that’s just not true.

Do you know how many there are

Out there feeling just like you?

The truth is, very few know of your pain.

And very many feel exactly the same

And neither do they let their pain show,

Years of denial, taking knocks, blow by blow.

Running away through using drugs or booze or sex.

Always moving on from ex to ex to ex.

Or maybe it’s shopping or maybe it’s food,

The campaign to self-destruct is gonna get you screwed.

But always, underneath are words like poison darts

The ones that made you build defensive ramparts.

Words hiding in the back of your thoughts

That prove you’re worth nothing,

An aberration of sorts.

Well, you’re not, you’re simply caught up in a snare,

Take it from one who’s already been there.

I’m thinking back to what or who might have saved me

During the years when I wasn’t free.

Someone who’d been there, now doing fine.

Someone who knew how to draw a line.

Each journey is lonely and yet we all share

The same kind of experience, the same wear and tear.

Don’t feel resentful for things that don’t matter.

Find out who you are, let the past shatter.

Find all the love you need in your heart

‘Cos that will give you a true restart.

And don’t ever let anyone talk to you

With poison dart words that aren’t even true.

The love that will save you is the love you find inside

Let that love enrich you, it cannot be denied.

You are truly worthy, in fact, you’ve always been,

They didn’t have it in them, your soul was never seen.

But don’t let that stop you from moving on now,

You are amazing, let that be your vow.

Posted in artistic, Personal Story

Painting

My paintings…

Each one, a series of meditations

Each, a journey within and without

A gathering of power

An opening of heart and channel

A capturing of potential

Of power and expression

A story

A moment

A pouring of love into form

A danced collaboration with the mineral consciousness, through colourful paints.

Each is a personal pilgrimage with myself

A mastery of myself

Each blew me open a little more

Each is my child

A birth into life

Each is a gift that was given from the divine

Through me

For the world…

Posted in artistic, divine magic, healing, Inspiration

Creativity and Play

When creating, we are co-creating with the Divine Source.

Through creativity, we speak our truth and express our authentic self. This is the path of the soul. And this is healing in action.

Creativity is play and being playful is a spiritual activity.

When we play, we relax. In relaxation, we naturally connect with the divine flow.

When we laugh and have fun, ego naturally falls away. We are living life in conscious presence, we are accepting the flow of life.

The universe is our playground and the soul journey transforms life into play and laughter, if we invite it to and allow it.

Let past and future drop away….it’s time to embrace creativity and play!

Posted in artistic, oneness, Poetry

“Please Call Me By My True Names”

Do not say that I’ll depart tomorrow
because even today, I still arrive.

Look deeply: I arrive in every second 
to be a bud on a spring branch, 
to be a tiny bird, with wings still fragile, 
learning to sing in my new nest, 
to be a caterpillar in the heart of a flower, 
to be a jewel hiding itself in a stone.

I still arrive, in order to laugh and to cry, 
in order to fear and to hope. 
The rhythm of my heart is the birth and 
death of all that are alive.

I am the mayfly metamorphosing on the surface of the river,
and I am the bird which, when spring comes, arrives in time 
to eat the mayfly.

I am the frog swimming happily in the clear pond, 
and I am also the grass-snake who, approaching in silence, 
feeds itself on the frog.

I am the child in Uganda, all skin and bones, 
my legs as thin as bamboo sticks, 
and I am the arms merchant, selling deadly weapons to 
Uganda.

I am the twelve-year-old girl, refugee on a small boat,
who throws herself into the ocean after being raped by a sea
pirate,
and I am the pirate, my heart not yet capable of seeing and
loving.

I am a member of the politburo, with plenty of power in my
hands,
and I am the man who has to pay his “debt of blood” to my
people,
dying slowly in a forced labor camp.

My joy is like spring, so warm it makes flowers bloom in all
walks of life.
My pain is like a river of tears, so full it fills the four oceans.

Please call me by my true names, 
so I can hear all my cries and laughs at once, 
so I can see that my joy and pain are one.

Please call me by my true names, 
so I can wake up, 
and so the door of my heart can be left open, 
the door of compassion.

– by Thich Nhat Hanh

Image: “Look Deeply, I Am My Joy and Pain” by Ananda Amenet Reid

Posted in artistic, darkness and light, divine magic, Goddess, Inspiration, Mother Earth, Poetry, The Truth of our Being

“It’s Just That You’re Not That Feminine.”

I beg to differ.

I’m feminine like a thunderstorm.

Feminine like the glint of a falcon talon.

Feminine like an ancient redwood.

Feminine like the orange glow of a grizzly bear in the sunset.

Feminine like a wolf on the hunt.

Feminine like decaying bones.

Feminine like the eye of an old whale.

Feminine like a roaring river.

Feminine like a sheer cliff overlooking a forest.

Feminine like a wildfire.

Feminine like a desert wind.

Feminine like a battle cry.

And yes.

Within my stones and bark and fur and fierce slit irises… I am as soft and enveloping as any woman whose blood ever beat red.

This is the Sovereigness.

I am her.

We are her.

We are an age of woman who has come in, representing the medicine of the Wilds.

We are not built to actualize your sense of masculinity through your traditional idea of femininity.

We are built to bring in the voice of our Mother.

Which is why Earth herself screams in our veins.

So, if what you really mean is,

“Your femininity is overwhelming”,

Then I understand.

It is to me, too.

~ Adrianne Tamar Arachne

The Art & Illustration Of Adrianne Tamar Arachne http://www.adriannetamararachne.com

Posted in artistic, Inspiration, the Creator

Swimming in the Divine Flow

From the perspective of being an artist and previously, a teacher of art history, I’ve long wondered if the unconscious pursuit of art is to find God, or at least, try to understand God.  Recently, whilst watching the film Effie Gray, the character John Ruskin says just about the same thing and it got me thinking.

Is our exploration of the divine, our desire to pin down the Creator, ever going to be possible?  Because we are limited by our ability to perceive such an expansive and limitless energy.  And yet, we do have the potential to be able to touch the divine because we hold the energy signature within ourselves, every single one of us.  We came from the divine, we are of the divine, we just happen to have got so very out of touch with that expression of our being. 

To be in the divine flow allows us to experience a greater level of this incredible energy. And if we go deeper, we experience resonance. Is it at the point that we know oneness-with-all that we are resonating strongest?

The written word cannot go where art goes, art and music, they both have an abstract quality that frees them. Art is a symphony of colour and shape and music is being bathed in vibrations that awaken something buried within our nature. Both engage the emotions rather than intellect at their best. And as much as it is possible to channel the divine source through words, it’s not as easy to get out of the way and the palette we have to work with is smaller. Mozart channelled the divine source beautifully through his music, as does Lisa Gerrard today. And l’m sure Rumi did in his poetry with words. And yes, I feel that every true artist does that, from prehistoric cave paintings to Banksy.

I sense that this isn’t one for the intellect and yet, as I write now, my writing is of the intellect. This is a deeper realisation, an embodiment. Perhaps that’s why it has to be art. I think specifically of Vincent Van Gogh. I would have liked to have met him. I feel he had a profound passion for the divine burning within his soul, so strong that it burned him in his flesh. I can see very well how his painting was a search for the greatest truth, for the divine in life.

The next time you are looking at a work of art by an artist who has dedicated their life to their art, especially abstract art where ‘subject’ is not in the way, imagine you are looking at the divine. Imagine the frequency of the divine source is accessible to you through that image. Allow yourself to immerse yourself in it, walk into it. Put intellect, judgements and prejudices aside, just for a moment, and swim in it. And then, know that you can do the same with anything. With any scene, landscape, situation or experience because it’s all divine source.

Posted in artistic, divine magic, Granma Wisdom, Personal Story, spiritual skills and techniques, Storytelling

Meet Granma Wisdom

Have you noticed a few recent posts about a character called Granma Wisdom yet?  That’s becoming something of a theme, and it happened like this.

I was making my bed when I noticed a dialogue going through my head, it was the first Granma Wisdom post, which you will find here.  And as I started to pay attention, I thought; “Hey, this is gold!  I need to be writing this down.”  So, I dropped what I was doing, grabbed my laptop and captured it.  The next day, another one popped out.  I realised something was happening.  I wondered if I would get one a day?

Thing is, I used to be a schoolteacher and I guess I’ve always had thoughts and ideas about the kind of things children need and don’t usually find in a society and culture like ours.  I mean learning skills like breathing techniques, visualisation and meditation from an early age.  Hearing about the alternative explanation for life and death that we get from a spiritual perspective.   

And there it was, not for the first time, the idea to write a book for parents and children that introduce a new, more spiritual way to understand things.  And that’s who Granma Wisdom is.  She’s a wise seer who is teaching her grandchild all she knows, because her grandchild is holding the gift of the seer too.  And through her words, maybe parents will know how to explain some of these ideas to their children, and maybe children will understand because Granma Wisdom’s words are close to the world of divine magic that children already hold in their hearts. 

I don’t know if it’s going to be a real book yet, too soon to say, but the door is open, the magic is welcome and I am present to receive and follow whatever path is chosen for me.       

Posted in artistic, divine magic, Inspiration, nature

Jewel Icon

Take a close look at the picture above.

What do you see?

A work of art? A piece of jewellery?

I see a jewelled icon. Like something biblical or religious, maybe from over a thousand years ago. From medieval times, perhaps, and made of jewels, enamels, gold, silver, pearls, mother of pearl.

Something out of this world, and yet it also reminds me of the Virgin Mary somehow. I don’t know why. Perhaps it’s that I almost expect to see her represented in the centre, after all, it does seem to depict layers of auras, haloes with rays of light emanating from the core.

The detail is incredible, the beauty, wonderful to behold.

Russell Kightley created this image of an animal cell.

“The image was created 20 years ago for an educational poster for BioCam. It took six weeks of full-time work to create using Painter (Fractal Design’s Painter as it was, now it’s managed by Corel).” BioCam is a company that sells biology wall charts and posters for education.

The image is a generalized animal cell designed as a basic biology educational tool with no specializations or arbitrary use of colors.

“To back up my understanding of cell biology, I read many research and review papers and checked electron micrographs, paying particular attention to the dimensions of organelles and other elements to ensure that everything was as close to scale as possible,” Kightley said. “I had to create a generalised model featuring all of the organelles studied in high school biology, since the BioCam wall chart would be used in schools, so there was considerable collaboration there to achieve the right balance and clarity.”

Posted in artistic, divine magic, Personal Story, transformation

Let Magic Emerge: Ffion Arrives

Magic comes into our lives in so many ways, every day, and sometimes it comes in BIG! When my shamanic drum came into my life, that was big. I connected with the energy even before my drum arrived. And yes, like all shamanic drums, mine is alive, has consciousness, and when we work together I feel and connect with that power. When I painted an immensely personal image on my drum, our connection amplified. I feel like my drum is an extension of my soul, and every time I drum to support healing for someone, we are creating potency together.

When spiritual practitioners work with energy and magic, we find ourselves attracting all kinds of tools to support our work, in the form of objects that others would consider ‘dead’, and yet, we sense and feel they are very much alive.

For me, it’s crystals, stones, my shamanic rattle, my crystal singing bowl, items I have self-crafted like my shamanic bag and smudge feather fan. My favourite Oracle cards, runes and Celtic Ogham. All bringing their magical presence to enrich my spiritual practice and healing. All creating transformation in co-creation with me.

And that’s true of Ffion. Remember Ffion? I introduced you to her last week here. I might have been a little bit naughty and given you the impression she’s a person. She’s a unique and magical energy, a one of a kind, hand made, artisan spirit art doll. These beautiful dolls are infused with personality, magical abilities and power as their maker brings them to life.

I didn’t intend to purchase when I first looked at these amazing Eufaeria dolls made by Sara McGoodwin Armstrong of Hiraeth Gallery, Llandovery. I heard about Sara from my niece in Texas, so it was a surprise to discover she lives less than an hour’s drive from me in South West Wales.

After I had finished admiring Sara’s work on her website, I got on with my life, but Sara’s gorgeous creations kept coming to the fore of my awareness and one character, in particular, was clearly calling to me. Sara explains that people don’t choose her magical dolls, they choose the person. They choose who gets to co-create with them and who they wish to live with. And Ffion was calling me.

I clicked on the ‘buy’ button, justifying it as my birthday present to myself. And in the next few hours, remarkable things started to happen. Miracles, I would say. Some issues in my life suddenly started to resolve, issues I had given up hope of, such as my beloved cat that went missing when I moved home. For two months he was lost. And he reappeared within hours of my connecting with Ffion, who, incidentally, has a close affinity with cats.

And it’s been ten weeks since I arrived in my new home at a new location where I don’t know a soul. I had hoped to connect with some of my neighbours but they kept their doors shut when I knocked and ignored invitations to call on me for coffee and a chat. I can only assume it’s Covid fears.

For the first four weeks, I felt the need to be with myself and immersed myself in the freedom and independence of being in my own place for the first time, enjoying my own company. But then, I became ill for three weeks. Unable to drive, I was stuck in the house all that time, and except for two brief forays to the local shop, I didn’t see a soul. It wasn’t so nice then to be without support or company, no kindly smile, no friendly chat. And I wondered about the relative closeness of my neighbours and yet, it was as though a chasm existed between us.

But within hours of Ffion connecting, a woman from up the road started a conversation with me on my front step and we had a lot in common. She told me about a group of women she does Earth healing with, and invited me on a day out to ‘meet the girls’. Just when I was giving up on finding my tribe, here they are. Thank you again, Ffion, I see your hand in this too.

Coincidence? I don’t think so. No such thing when you believe in magic. I could sense Ffion’s energy, even before she arrived. And now she is here. I can hardly wait to see what magic we will create together, because if anyone knows how to invite magic in, I do.

Posted in artistic, dragons, Personal Story, Shamanism

Birth of a New Drum

Today, I am celebrating my shamanic drum.  I love to paint, it stills my mind and creates an oasis of peace and tranquility and I’ve just finished painting my recently acquired shamanic drum.  My drum was birthed by drum-maker Crow Ferguson of Driftwood Hollow Drums on 24th November 2020 and it came into my possession about 2 weeks after that.  It’s a beautiful big egg shaped drum, as you can see. I didn’t pick it for the shape but for the gorgeous resonant sound. That said, being egg-shaped makes it extra special to me, it’s symbolic of new beginnings, which I am certainly facing right now, and breaking free. Perfect.

Before my drum arrived, before I even knew what it looked or sounded like, I received inspiration that it was going to contain dragon power and there would be a dragon on the front.  

I already had a dragon sketched out for the drum but when it arrived and I placed that sketch on the drum, something wasn’t right, it seemed my intuition had let me down.  I really trust my intuition these days, so I was perplexed that it seemed to have let me down, but I followed my guidance and it led me to sketch out a number of features on the drum, each of which I simply felt into and followed my intuitive guidance.  Slowly, bit by bit, a design emerged and it turned out this drum depicted my soul in the form of an ancient Egyptian winged figure.  When she appeared, it was a real surprise to me.  She has a white cone of light emerging from her head which represents my channel.  Every symbol and feature painted on this drum has a deep significance for me, especially about the power and the support present for me in my spiritual practices. I had got quite far into the design when I received guidance that a black dragon was to be placed on the lower part of the drum and it turned out to be the very same sketch I had made before the drum arrived.  I realise now, the figure had to go in first and then the dragon could appear too. Ah, my initial intuition had been right, after all.  

It has been a joy to paint this drum. Quite often, the designs and symbols have come to me in my sleep, this project has been a big part of my dreams lately.  Dragons are fun to paint because you can really go to town with them, this one makes a powerful contrast with the softness and simplicity of the figure representing my soul.  I like how the dragon’s wing and fiery breath enclose her in a protective way, and I didn’t even plan that. 

I have felt the power and magical energy of this drum grow as the painting emerged.  As a whole, the painted image is bringing its magical energy into being every time the drum is played. Soon, there will be a naming ceremony to wake the drum and bring it to life.  A shaman’s drum is a living consciousness, it is alive in every sense.  The drum’s name and powerful personality is emerging.