Posted in divine magic, Goddess, Inspiration, Poetry, sexual healing, sovereignty

The Sensual Sacredness of Sexual Presence

“The value of the personal relationship to all things is that it creates intimacy and intimacy creates understanding and understanding creates love.” – Anais Nin

Sexuality and sex are not the same.

Sexuality is a nuance. An energy. A power.

Sexuality is worn like a softly clinging gown.

It’s an attitude, but not one that’s contrived, not like flirting, nothing so obvious or intentional.

Sexuality cannot be switched on and off, it oozes in every movement, every moment.

It’s natural. A desire to sip from the cup of life.

A sensual embrace with touch, taste, scent, caress, kiss.

It’s an art that ignites in the furnace of passion.

And whether it’s passion for a lover or the salacious delight of eating a succulent fruit, the juices flow and sexuality wishes only to bite into life and tear it apart.

She who embodies sexuality knows she is Goddess.

She is a force, a fire.

She is in love with everything.

She is everything.

Posted in Abundance and lack, Energy healing, inner child, Personal Story, sovereignty, The Truth of our Being

Levelling Up and Coming into Alignment

I’ve recently finished a four part webinar on working with energy templates.  Oh boy!  This work is marvellous and I can see I’m going to be working with this for some time.

I called forth the energy template that is my soul’s fulfilment and asked what needs to be acknowledged.  Two energies came forward.  The first was lack consciousness and secondly, a concern with what others expect or say of me.

I need to address these energies and integrate them into my being so that they move from disharmony to harmony.  So that lack moves to abundance and I am claiming my truth rather than giving my power away.

As I worked with the templates, I saw a vertical and horizontal line connected in the middle like a cross.

The vertical line of the cross represents alignment.  I may wobble on this line and move out of alignment instead of remaining in harmony and centredness.  Sometimes, I feel abundant and am less in fear of lack in my life.  Sometimes, I am in my power and truth and less focused on what others think.  And sometimes, I wobble offline.

The horizontal line of the cross is levelling.  Unresolved issues are trauma from the past and they look for opportunities to find what is missing to achieve levelling. For me, that’s always been love. It’s like water flowing in and filling up to the required level.  Lack consciousness and concerning myself with what others think are there because of unresolved issues that are still teaching me what I need to acknowledge and integrate in order to heal. 

This healing is a horizontal and vertical experience. As we heal, we level up (fill up with love) and achieve alignment with the divine source. We become lined up as well as levelled up.

Even though I’ve been working on this issue for years, there’s still a deep part of me that’s trying to find love outside of me.  That part created and feeds lack consciousness deep within me.  It also created a need to read and respond to my perceived expectations of others.  By recognising this and acknowledging it, I can heal.  I come into alignment and find my level because I’m filled up with the love that I felt was missing and this time it’s coming from myself.  In working with the energy templates, I call forth the energy of abundance.  I call forth the energies of truth and personal power that exist within me.  

Posted in Inspiration, sovereignty, The Truth of our Being

Living Our Truth

Here’s a difficult question today, and it’s not even ‘transformational question Friday’ (for those that don’t know, we have a little Friday theme going on).

This question is challenging us to a new kind of self-truth. “In what ways are you living a lie?” Ouch, did that hurt? Maybe your answer is, “Not at all!” Maybe the ways we do this are so carefully dismissed and disguised by us, excuses made, that we hardly even realise it anymore.

By living a lie, I mean living in a manner that we are not being honest with ourselves. Perhaps we diminish our truth with our significant other, our family or friends. Maybe it’s something we do at work. It can be little or big things. Essentially, it’s diminishing ourselves and it’s always about what others think. Examples of not living our truth might include needing to hide our gender identity, secret addictions or behaviours, holding secrets within our key relationships. Anything we think we’re going to get judged for, basically. These hidden truths are often about society’s rules and expectations, but those rules are meaningless and we don’t have to live by them. The only rules and expectations we need are those that come from within, using our own moral compass, from our compassionate and honest heart. And the person who is really getting hurt here, is us.

It’s not always the big things, it can be little moments when we diminish our truth, saying what we know is going to be best received, and we usually get an uncomfortable feeling when we do that. I had one of those moments recently. A neighbour asked me in a public setting if I had received the Covid vaccination yet. I said the truth, no, I haven’t, I picked up her body language, saw her shift uncomfortably. She’s die-hard pro-vaccine and publishes her views that those who are not stepping up are letting everybody else down. The truth is, I’m choosing not to get the vaccination but I said this; “I was only offered the one that’s being investigated for risk of blood clots, I’ve had two blood clots in my lungs and one in my legs in the past, I’m not taking the injection I was offered because of the risk and now I’ve been put to the end of the list.” Everything I said was true but it wasn’t THE truth. I have no intention of having the vaccine. I noticed the uncomfortable feeling of that lie and later wished I’d been true to myself, rather than acting from my perception of what another thinks. I’m entitled to a choice and don’t need to offer an explanation. A learning opportunity for the next time.

If we can’t be honest with our loved ones about the truth of who we are, we are better to walk away, even if only for a time, to become comfortable with the truth within ourselves first. Or we need to lay our truth out on the table, no matter the consequences. To live a lie is to create a chaotic and dishonest resonance that won’t support our relationships to function in harmony. And for myself, if a person is lying to another about their truth, then they have it in them to lie to me too. And if a friend is disparaging their other friends in my ear, they can be doing the same about me. That’s not a person who knows how to be true to themselves, let alone anyone else.

When it comes to disclosure, we don’t need to share with those who won’t know what to do with the information and, quite often, they don’t really need to know. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for who you are. We are not wilfully hiding who we are, but we don’t have to explain ourselves.

Something else to bear in mind, if you are feeling ready to let your truth show, timing is everything, feel your way through it, don’t just blurt it out. Spend time making it more obvious without saying it outright by living your truth more visibly and drop casual statements that validate your truth. In it’s own time, an opportunity will open up to have a conversation and when that happens, let your confidence and self-belief shine through. This is your TRUTH, own it.

When we live a lie, no matter how small, it eats away at us. Over time, we become accustomed to it for the most part, but we are living in an energy of dissonance and we create our own toxicity. That often expresses itself in our lives physically as an illness. Most of these conditions primarily feature either chronic fatigue, immune deficiency or inflammatory conditions.

Chronic fatigue is a way for our body to shut down. It’s saying, “I can’t live like this anymore! Please, let’s just stop altogether.” That exhaustion is displaced from the dissonance and toxic conditions in our lives.

Immune deficiency is the body’s way of saying, “I can’t fight anymore, I’m overwhelmed, I give up.”

And inflammation disorders are the body’s response to living in damaging conditions or lifestyle. This condition is fighting back, doing it’s level best to protect the body from threat, except that the threat in question cannot be cushioned by swelling and the resulting aches and pains only make life worse.

When you live with long-term conditions, look for the lie in your life. It may even be that your entire life is not where it needs to be, and I say that as I’m about to embark on my new start, new home and new life, already my health conditions have started to move into the realm of wellness. None of this is a judgement, it’s a wake-up call. When we move to be in alignment with our truth, we remove those limitations, that toxicity and dissonance and step out into the light. Truth is light and light doesn’t shine where it’s hidden.

The time has come to open up to the truth of who we are. Let everything be known, the consequences will not be as severe as you imagine. And if they are, ride the storm knowing you are following the truth of your heart. And you will feel like a weight has been lifted from you when you are no longer hiding your truth. But remember, one step at a time. Let’s all do it together, loving and supporting each other, holding amnesty for all the secrets that are revealed. This is how we claim ourselves, how we access 100 per cent personal power, 100 per cent supreme liberation, 100 per cent authentic self. Imagine that.

[ I love this amazing painting by artist Aleah Chapin. These women are naked in their truth and look how magnificent they are. So powerful. aleahchapin.com ]

Posted in Inspiration, Soul Integration, sovereignty

Being Our Truth

There is nothing more fundamentally important, when it comes to being your truth, being your authentic self, being you, than embracing your soul within the totality of your being and receiving your soul’s wisdom, skills, talents, abilities and gifts. Be yourself. Your truth. Your power. Your wisdom. Your expression of divinity on the Earth.

Learn to recognise the difference between when you are being true to yourself and when you are not. Being true to yourself is the most natural expression of your being, and yet, conditioning and judgement led us to second guess ourselves and diminish our truth ever since we were little children. Now, there is a need to relearn what it feels like, looks like. To trust ourselves above the expectations and conditions of others, of society in general. Sometimes, it’s difficult to know.

In this sense, we are bringing forward a new way of being, being our truth. This is not new for our souls, but for our personalities. When we accept this, we experience fulfilment. Have you ever made a big decision, gone against society, your parents, your partner, your closest friends, maybe your boss? I mean, made a decision that was hugely frowned upon, expected to have big consequences, judgements, repercussions? It would have been so easy to have towed the line, done what was expected, but you didn’t. You followed your truth. It’s not easy, is it? How did it turn out for you? A disaster? Or did you feel the peace that comes with knowing you did the right thing, the only thing you could have done. You stayed aligned with your truth.

Most of us are not living our truth.  Most of us are in the wrong job, the wrong place and the wrong relationships.  We may even be creating toxicity for ourselves in our lives.  We may be carrying unhealthy physical, emotional or mental conditions because of the decisions we made to do what was easy rather than be true to ourselves.  Maybe, we became trapped in those limiting conditions.

It’s time to start to embody our truth in every moment. Start to recognise the feeling of being in our truth and stay in it more often. We don’t have to do this alone, as our personality, we have a soul, our soul is a master of truth, our soul is never not truth. That’s how you know you have not aligned with your soul fully yet, if you are not yet living your truth or feeling your way towards being your truth, you are ready for your sacred soul initiation to take place.

       

Posted in Personal Story, sovereignty

Oh Dear!

Oh dear, what a difference a day makes.  Monday, somewhat past the eleventh hour, my solicitor introduced a number of troubling issues about the house I am buying.  I’m in a chain of five houses and we are in the week we were all hoping to move, seeing the week drift past as my solicitor introduces these troubling issues.  One by one, they are removed as I pay attention and address them.  Leaving one.  Apparently, my house has a deed of covenant dating from when it was built with pages and pages of clauses, several of which the present owner has breached.  That’s not so much the problem anymore, there’s now indemnity insurance in place for that.  But his solicitor was supposed to get the local authority to draw up a new deed of covenant for the exchange of sale between us, and this hasn’t been done.  The consequences?  I currently have no idea, all I know is my solicitor sent me a report and it said, due to this, I am STRONGLY advised (her capitals) not to proceed until this is resolved.  This is one big unresolved problem to slap into my lap when my buyer is waiting to exchange contracts this week, a week later than planned. 

I’m feeling a bit mad.  I’m mad at the solicitors for doing nothing to chase this up or put something in place to sort it and for not bringing this to my attention sooner and for not taking my calls or talking to me, except by email.  And I’m even a little mad with my husband who spends every five minutes shouting, yes, shouting into my ear (with the same stressy anxiety I feel too) telling me what I need to do about it. But mostly I’m mad because I’m feeling out of my depth and don’t have enough information to understand the situation right now. (Feeling a little overwhelmed here.) Actually, I’m feeling powerless and under-supported, even undermined, fairly or unfairly. 

So, I wrote an email to my solicitor and told her if this thing isn’t resolved this week, I’m pulling out of the sale.  Then, I lay down on my bed and fell into a deep sleep and had the most crazy vivid dream about a huge snake that crawled up my body.  When I woke up, I realised that pulling out of the sale is a stupid thing to do.  I knew it was emotive, reactive and a bit petulant, even so, I did intend to stand by it.  Now, I realise the cost of doing so is ridiculously high for me to follow through.  I could say something real hardcore here, but instead, I say “Oh dear”.  

I say I have no choice, but of course, we do all have choices, even when we think we don’t.  I can decide that my line has been crossed, my boundaries have been disrespected and that is more important to me than the money and the inconvenience.  I can still walk away.  And I can still see myself doing that, it’s almost as if the house has been tainted by the behaviour of others for me now.  Babies and bathwater keep springing to mind.  But I am so past fed up of being treated like a door mat, and this is not just about this situation but about me and my life and who I am and about standing up for myself, because I’m worth it.  How are we ever going to claim our sovereignty if we don’t draw that line and stand up, set our boundaries and uphold them? 

Okay, another day, and what just happened? Was that ego muscling in on my soul’s territory? I think the signs are there; personalising, feeling hurt and getting defensive, yep. Check, check and check. This morning, being Wednesday and the next day, I’ve had a little chat with my ego and we have calmed down. Now, would you believe it, my solicitor is telling me there’s nothing to worry about, excuse me? What were the capital letters all about yesterday, when nothing has actually changed?! Deep breath, letting go, moving on and moving house again.

In the dream, I was afraid the snake was going to bite me and so I tried to attack it to get it off my back.  The snake was too big to fight, it was bigger than a boa, and that didn’t work.  So, I found my balls and put my fear away.  I decided to walk out into the garden and let nature draw the snake away, and it worked.  After the snake was free from me, it transformed into a large greyhound.  Not entirely sure how this relates, although I can see some parallels, I’m hoping the greyhound represents a speedy process to move house from here on in. If anybody has any thoughts about my dream, I would be delighted to hear.   

Posted in mythology, Soul Integration, sovereignty, Storytelling

“I Am Sovereign”

“I am sovereign.” These are the words of one who is embracing the truth of their being and it is an empowering daily affirmation to repeat this short, powerful statement. To be sovereign is to be one who is the source of their own needs. This person can truly say “I unconditionally love myself” and feel no sense of guilt or selfishness, for they are aware that to do so is a huge part of what makes them healthy, healed and whole.

Sovereign is a word that has a great deal of power. It encapsulates our personal power, our liberation, self-worth, authenticity and our ability to see ourselves as divine expressions upon the Earth.

Sovereign means we answer to ourselves and nobody else. We need no permission from anybody for anything we feel, speak, do or are. No permission for the decisions we make, the creations and expressions we choose to bring forth. Nor do we need acceptance, approval or acknowledgment from anyone outside ourselves. We no longer seek to fix or heal the relationships with our parents when we didn’t get our needs met, we know that the only healing to be done is the wounds we carry within us. We are no longer trying to be responsible for anybody except ourselves.

Sovereign means we truly own ourselves, value ourselves, we own our inner power and have no fear to express it in every moment. We stand at our centre, speaking and acting from a state of centredness. To say “I am sovereign” is a powerful way to claim all of this and more.

Here’s a story about sovereignty, it was written down around 1388 by Geoffrey Chaucer, although it was probably already an old tale. It is from The Canterbury Tales.

The story is about a knight who raped one of Queen Guinevere’s maidens. The penalty is death but the queen decides to give the knight a year to find the answer to a question, if he tells her the correct answer within that time he will not die, otherwise, he’s toast. The question is “What do women want?”

This is a moral tale that’s all about the empowerment and sovereignty of women. The knight can only succeed if he learns a fundamental respect for women.

The knight sets off and everywhere he goes, he asks men and women the question. He gets a different answer from everyone but the knight doesn’t think any of the answers are the truth the queen is after.

It’s nearly the end of the year and the knight is returning to the castle to face his death. On his way, he sees a group of twenty-four maidens dancing and as he approaches they disappear, replaced by what the book calls “a lothly lady”, meaning she was old and very ugly upon the eye. She promises the knight she will tell him the answer if he agrees to give her what she asks of him.

At the castle, the knight tells the queen, as instructed by the lothly lady, that what women want is sovereignty. This is the correct answer and the queen spares the knight’s life. Then, the lothly lady tells the knight that what she wishes in return is to marry him. The knight is appalled at the prospect but has no option and they are married.

As they go to the marriage bed together, the knight is upset and reluctant. The old lady asks him if he would prefer an old and ugly wife who would be entirely faithful to him, or a young and beautiful wife who won’t be faithful. She tells him she will be whichever he chooses. The knight ponders this and says, “I will accept whatever you decide, my dear.” She declares that his wise answer has honoured her sovereignty, she therefore becomes a young, beautiful and faithful wife. He leans in to kiss her and as he does, he is looking at the most beautiful young woman he has ever seen. Lesson learned.

When we don’t learn our life lessons, sometimes, the lothly lady will come knocking on our door bringing us kick-ass challenges to face that turn our world upside down. Sometimes, it takes that for us to get it. She is the Goddess in her Crone aspect.