Posted in Inspiration, sovereignty, The Truth of our Being

I’m Not Enough!

‘Enough’ is a word I struggle with:

“I’m not enough.”

“I’m not good enough.”

And don’t even try to tell me, “You are enough.”

No, it’s not working for me.

‘Enough’ is a word of limitations.

Enough of what?

It needs to be quantified to work as a word.

There ARE no limitations anymore,

They’re all blown out the water.

We are existing at a limitless time,

So ‘enough’ doesn’t cut it anymore.

Not even ‘more than enough’ cuts it.

We are nothing short of MAGNIFICENT!

[Image: ‘Curious Goose At Llanelli Wetlands Centre, Carmarthenshire’ photograph by Amenet Drago]

Posted in death, end of life, Shamanism

In The Death Zone

“In the death zone, I come alive” – Nirmal Purja, Mountaineer

We don’t live in the face of death everyday, maybe we live a safe life, never looking death in the eye. A tame life like that may feel unrewarding, as though we never really grab life by the balls.

Ordinarily, I’m not a thrill seeker or a risk taker, but I do step outside my comfort zone in numerous ways and this is inevitable as a shamanic practitioner.

To be a shamanic practitioner, especially one who supports the death process, it means making death one’s friend. It’s not the same as making fear one’s friend because fear isn’t trying to be our friend whilst death never wanted to be anything but a friend, it’s us who fight against that friendship.

Death is telling us we’re alive. Death asks, “Who are you, really? What do you want out of life? Where do your passions lie? What do you truly believe in?”

Death isn’t an ending, it’s a doorway. It’s in our lives every day in so many little ways. Every ending, transition, transformation, death is there. Without it, we don’t keep moving on the path of our fulfilment. Death is a transition from one state to another that we would not grow without.

How do you feel about endings? Do you embrace them?

Are you prepared to close doors and walk away from what no longer serves you?

Are you ready to risk losing it all?

[Image: ‘Plaque at St Anthony’s Well, Llansteffan, Carmarthenshire’ photograph by Amenet Drago]

Posted in healing, inner child

Möbius Loop

Have you ever wondered how it is that the person in the family that had the hardest time often ends up the most insightful, healed and spiritually aware?

It’s true for myself and several people I know, both in my wider family and outside of it, but not always so.

I think, in the end, it’s down to us. We are given adversities for a reason, they are teachers and they will fast-track us to greater fulfilment if we let them. Or maybe we’ll fall apart, or remain asleep.

I was meditating today, sending love and talking with my healed and integrated inner children.

I received understanding that I was sending loving energy to each child in the past.

Which means I was sending loving energy to myself as a child at all the most traumatic times.

I was even loving and supporting myself as a foetus in the womb, waiting to be born.

And myself as a sixty year old was present energetically at my own birth, waiting to hold my newborn self, greeting her and wrapping her up in unconditional love.

As an experience, that’s truly amazing, so precious and magical, and it’s thanks to Jen Peters’ masterful skills as a multidimensional healer and inner child guide that I get to experience it.

It’s no surprise, therefore, that I managed to survive as a child, even though I couldn’t see anybody there for me at the time.

I often felt alone and yet found resilience and strength inside, without which I don’t think I would have survived.

All the time, I was giving strength and love to my child selves from my future selves.

There’s no past, present and future, in reality, time is an illusion, it’s all happening at once.

Who you become in the future is who you always were.

Trust and believe in yourself, your best self is waiting for your invitation to step forward now.

You really are far more incredible than you might imagine.

[Image: ‘The Spark At The Heart Of Your Heart Is Timeless’ art by Amenet Drago]

Posted in Inspiration, Mother Earth

Conscious Eating

I just went outside and sat at the table on my patio to eat a delicious plate of freshly sliced mango and banana. I sat down and admired the distant sea view, remembering the first time I saw that view, on Valentines Day last year when I came to see the house as a prospective buyer. And that thought took me to another and another thought, and choo! choo! I was racing away on the thought train.

I looked down, I had nearly finished the plate of fruit and not a single sentiment of gratitude or recognition of the pleasure of eating this fine fruit had passed my lips.

I put my fork down, sat back and took a deep breath. Before I ate another morsel, I now chose to consciously connect with the experience of eating.

First, I spoke my gratitude out loud to Mother Earth and her soul, Goddess Gaia. To the Creator, the Elemental Kingdom, all the trees and plants. To the elements of fire, earth, air and water. To the animals, birds, insects, reptiles and sea creatures. I took a bite of mango, it was delicious, sweet and juicy. Mmmmm. I savoured each mouthful and thought of the nourishment this fruit was bringing to my being.

As I finished, I took a deep breath and felt that breath as nourishment also. It was air, yes, but I could detect the moisture in it, I was also taking in the element of water. And I was taking in the light with each breath, the element of fire.

This is how I wish to eat, consciously. Gratefully.

[Image: ‘Peachy’ art by Amenet Drago]

Posted in darkness and light, Soul Mastery

Endurance

The challenges we face are where we find out who we are

The hardships we endure are when we grow the most

The difficulties we overcome are our testing grounds

The suffering we experience is when we are tempered

The darkness that consumes us leads towards the light

No matter how hard it is, our soul has called it

Our soul knows that this trial will heal us

Our soul is holding us, even if we can’t feel it

At the most burdensome of times, trust yourself, for you are your soul

There is always a reason and it will lead to your freedom.

[Image: ‘Freefall’ (detail) art by Amenet Drago]

Posted in darkness and light, Inspiration

The Gifted

There are two sides to the same coin,

And just the same, we may have two sides

Because of the gift we bear.

When we have a gift,

We contend with what it costs to have that gift.

And it’s hard to say what that cost will be.

The gift could be anything, any talent, ability or skill,

And it often comes from darkness

For, it is our earliest adversities that give birth to our greatest gifts.

The cost of that gift is the darkness that comes with it.

And if the darkness eats us up,

If we’re holding anger within us because of adversities from the past,

Be aware of the anger you hold inside.

Anger is a potent spice,

A pinch wakes us up, too much dulls our senses.

Anger is our fighter self who keeps us moving forward

But also, it paralyses.

Our strength came from darkness,

Our hope is in darkness.

We are light and dark, we are all of it.

As long as we accept it as so,

We will not be consumed.

(Words inspired by ‘The Queen’s Gambit’)

[Image: ‘Sparks In The Dark’ art by Amenet Drago]

Posted in Andromedans, healing, inner child, love, Personal Story

The Time is Right for Healing

Last night, I had the most amazing experience.  It was my second session with Multidimensional Healer Jen Peters.

In the first session, we spent 2 hours healing and integrating my deeply wounded inner children that were holding the trauma of chronic loneliness.  It left me feeling incredibly sleepy over the coming week as I synthesised the healing and adjusted to the trauma being dissolved from my being. 

Last night, we went back to the beginning of my life and worked with myself as a 5 month old foetus in the womb.  There were such a lot of traumatic energies that I was picking up from my birth mother, who was still a child herself at the time.  My little being was swimming in a soup of her shame, anger and despair.

But then, I also picked up a positive energy in the periphery, something that was supporting my foetal self. I didn’t know what it was, it just presented as a soft blue light.

As Jen asked me questions, I just seemed to know the answers and together, we found out so much.  We realised that my little being in the womb was wise and insightful, she had a strong soul connection and knew that this was the life she was coming down for.  She knew already that she was heading for my adoptive mother, not my womb mother.  I discovered that my soul was able to leave and return to this little one at will, which enabled a break from the dense and dissonant energies.  I discovered what a shock it was for the little one, for she had come from a place where there was only love and suddenly found herself in this harsh reality in the womb.  She sensed no love at all here, she was starving for it.  Her mother wasn’t feeling love for herself or the baby growing inside her, only hate and trauma.

Jen sensed something I have felt and been told from the inner planes for some time, that my soul is here to learn everything about love, even through understanding the lack of it.  My soul has been on that journey for many lifetimes.

As we were working together, I suddenly perceived that there was a circle of light beings surrounding myself and my womb baby and they were beaming out love. And I knew without doubt, they were my soul group and they were Andromedans.

Jen asked if they were always my soul connection or if they were beings I had been learning with. They said they were the seed and origin of my soul, but there were beings from Venus and the name Hather came up, these also have a strong connection with my soul, especially during previous lives spent in Ancient Egypt, and they were supporting my soul. Jen knew of the Hathors having a strong link with the divine mother and divine feminine energy. This made sense if they are connected to Hathor and Isis, they hold the Goddess energies. It might explain why I have a strong affinity with the divine feminine energy in this life, often making it the focus of my paintings.

The light and strength that the Andromedans flooded out towards my foetal self has always been present in my life, they told me they have always been there, even at the times when I felt completely alone. They have been the foundation of my eventual empowerment. They wanted me to know they are always with me and the love they feel for me is beyond description. Every time they told me this, tears started falling and sobs followed as I felt into the knowing that I had always been loved, after all. And not a love with limitations, an expansive, total love that my human being self can hardly fathom.

My soul group told me that my healing journey is currently the most important thing in my life. It’s preparing me for my life purpose, but they wouldn’t reveal what that purpose is yet. Jen and I got glimpses, that I am integrating the energy of divine union, getting to the core of oneness with love. This is my healing and task, to experience divine union with myself first and then… who knows?

During the session, my soul group also gave me information for healing my migraine aura symptoms. They implied that the condition was, in part, the result of receiving vibrations and frequencies that were necessary for me to receive. But now, by using sound through voice accompanied with movements, I am able to shift the energy. The vocalisation is spontaneous and is to be allowed to express freely, the movement will free up energy around my sacral and root chakras if I focus on the hips. The movement will also create vortexes alongside the sound which will reprogramme my energy. It was made clear that I didn’t need to understand this intellectually, just allow it to happen. My soul group said that when I do this, they will be with me, surrounding and supporting me, holding me with their energy. This is now a daily practice.

My healing is the one thing in my life that I need to focus on right now. If I focus on this, then everything else will naturally come into alignment too. I am beyond delighted that I invited Jen to be my multidimensional soul guide and healer. I have been fairly capable at navigating through the inner planes and receiving guidance, but together, we are creating such a powerful connection and she is the validator and mentor I needed.

Posted in Energy healing, Inspiration

Surge

Have you ever noticed the surge? The surge is like a tidal wave. It’s a powerful and sudden swell of energy that pushes what needs to happen forward. It could be anything. It could be healing. It could be love. It could be creativity.

All of a sudden, the lull is over and you are really moving, gathering speed. 

Be prepared, be awake.  Your senses must be alert at all times, even when you are dallying with the mundane.  The surge can arrive at any moment and then you will riding on the crest of a wave. 

[Image: ‘Waiting for the wave, Llangrannog, Ceredigion, Wales’ photograph by Amenet Drago]

Posted in healing, love, Personal Story

Acts Of Self Love

A few weeks ago, I started to consciously consider what was happening on a daily basis, in terms of loving and nurturing myself.

I was going through a difficult period, away from the peaceful solitude of my beloved sanctuary, my home, in an environment that was challenging every day, where making compromises was necessary in each moment.

A month long task of love and support for someone at the centre of my life was called for, someone whose own life seemed to be falling apart to them.

They were understandably scared and unable to appreciate the value of my presence or kindly intentions because of their health, anxiety and personality. Things were not running smoothly between us and we were both struggling.

I needed to look after myself as I looked after them but was too tired and too busy.

It took effort to structure some acts of self love instead of simply pouring myself into practical tasks for my charge. I made changes that slowed down my day and set me up for it much better. Initially, things changed.

It changed the atmosphere in the house and both our attitudes lightened. We began to be constructive, considering little ways to brighten the day and we related to each other with more harmony.

It didn’t last for more than a day or two because we were in such a difficult and challenging situation. The darkness still had plenty of gifts to bring and is still bringing them, but it brought a reprieve for a while, a refresh that could be repeated.

More importantly, it helped me remember something important, that when someone behaves badly towards us, there might very well be a scared and wounded child hiding inside that person, no matter how old they are.

Such circumstances are best met with gentleness and understanding, if possible, even when the natural impulse is to treat them as the enemy, which is reasonable when we’re under attack. I do know just how hard a thing that can be to do.

Especially when it’s a parent who was supposed to be the one to love us. Sometimes, that’s something that parents never learn how to do and it’s a big lesson for us to be the receiver of such a realisation.

When I look at myself now, I am proud of how I’ve navigated such a journey. I’m learning to be the bigger person.

When someone treats us poorly, we can always choose to be the bigger person by not answering their aggression with our own. And this is as true for nations as it is for personal relationships.

[Image: ‘Brilliance’ art by Amenet Drago]

Posted in Inspiration, love

What To Do When You’re Struggling (And Also When You’re Not)

An important thing you can do whenever you’re struggling is find at least three, preferably five, things to do that day which are loving, nurturing and caring towards yourself.

Be fierce when it comes to loving yourself and you might bypass a whole heap of suffering and self doubt.

The Divine Source is not floating above you but exists at the very heart of your being.

Therefore, love yourself intensely and give yourself immeasurable support, attention and affection.

[Image: ‘New Earth Ascension Blueprint’ (close up) painting by Amenet Drago]