Posted in Inspiration, Poetry

Faith

An everyday interaction takes place

Which, due to it’s coincidental timing and vague reflection of the circumstances,

Is interpreted as a sign of a higher power at work.

This leads to a more positive attitude,

A change in behaviour.

And life improves,

Coincidence or synchronicity?

It brings faith that something better is possible

You are the maker of your destiny

You create what you perceive as the best and worst moments.

You may not perceive this because we’re not usually conscious of it,

But we are learning to stay conscious.

Just know,

Everything is One

(- taken, adapted and inspired from ‘Humans’ by Sam Vincent & Jonathan Brackley)

Posted in Inspiration, love, Poetry

A Moment of Deep Love

That moment

A teenager tells her mother she’s pregnant

How will her mother respond?

There are many possibilities…

I watched.

The mother looked deeply into her daughters’ eyes

Enfolded her in a hug

Nothing was said for a long time as they held each other.

In that moment, I saw how possible it is

To be the kind of person that,

Even when one she loves

Invokes deep fear within her,

She doesn’t think first of her own fears, beliefs, expectations or conditions

But bypasses them to see what her loved one needs.

What a momentous moment.

Posted in Inspiration

Your Way Or The Highway

Hey guys, I just wanted to say one thing.

Your journey is your journey

And it’s not for anybody else to judge.

There’s no right way,

There’s no wrong way,

There’s only your way.

So, just rock up and flow with whatever seems to be your flavour.

Posted in healing, love, Personal Story

Acts Of Self Love

A few weeks ago, I started to consciously consider what was happening on a daily basis, in terms of loving and nurturing myself.

I was going through a difficult period, away from the peaceful solitude of my beloved sanctuary, my home, in an environment that was challenging every day, where making compromises was necessary in each moment.

A month long task of love and support for someone at the centre of my life was called for, someone whose own life seemed to be falling apart to them.

They were understandably scared and unable to appreciate the value of my presence or kindly intentions because of their health, anxiety and personality. Things were not running smoothly between us and we were both struggling.

I needed to look after myself as I looked after them but was too tired and too busy.

It took effort to structure some acts of self love instead of simply pouring myself into practical tasks for my charge. I made changes that slowed down my day and set me up for it much better. Initially, things changed.

It changed the atmosphere in the house and both our attitudes lightened. We began to be constructive, considering little ways to brighten the day and we related to each other with more harmony.

It didn’t last for more than a day or two because we were in such a difficult and challenging situation. The darkness still had plenty of gifts to bring and is still bringing them, but it brought a reprieve for a while, a refresh that could be repeated.

More importantly, it helped me remember something important, that when someone behaves badly towards us, there might very well be a scared and wounded child hiding inside that person, no matter how old they are.

Such circumstances are best met with gentleness and understanding, if possible, even when the natural impulse is to treat them as the enemy, which is reasonable when we’re under attack. I do know just how hard a thing that can be to do.

Especially when it’s a parent who was supposed to be the one to love us. Sometimes, that’s something that parents never learn how to do and it’s a big lesson for us to be the receiver of such a realisation.

When I look at myself now, I am proud of how I’ve navigated such a journey. I’m learning to be the bigger person.

When someone treats us poorly, we can always choose to be the bigger person by not answering their aggression with our own. And this is as true for nations as it is for personal relationships.

[Image: ‘Brilliance’ art by Amenet Drago]

Posted in Inspiration, love

What To Do When You’re Struggling (And Also When You’re Not)

An important thing you can do whenever you’re struggling is find at least three, preferably five, things to do that day which are loving, nurturing and caring towards yourself.

Be fierce when it comes to loving yourself and you might bypass a whole heap of suffering and self doubt.

The Divine Source is not floating above you but exists at the very heart of your being.

Therefore, love yourself intensely and give yourself immeasurable support, attention and affection.

[Image: ‘New Earth Ascension Blueprint’ (close up) painting by Amenet Drago]

Posted in healing, inner child, Personal Story

Growing Up With a Box Full of Darkness

“Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.” – Mary Oliver

Are you someone who grew up having a difficult relationship with a parent? 

It can be a tough experience to grow, from womb to adulthood and beyond, trying to make sense of oneself and the world. And then add in to that a parent or parents who don’t see, hear or acknowledge that we matter, let us know that we are loved and worthy.

Worst still, maybe you lived with a parent or parents who criticised, judged, manipulated, controlled, demanded, abused, denied, hated or gaslighted. Maybe there was alcohol, drugs, absence, divorce, violence, abuse…

There are parents that aren’t able to be loving and affirming because it wasn’t there for them. It wasn’t modelled or experienced when they were growing up. They had difficulties with their own parents that led to not feeling loved or worth much. That’s not to say that a child who had a dysfunctional parent grew up to be dysfunctional themselves. Sometimes, the child becomes the healer of the entire generational family trauma. Sometimes, dysfunction is the starting point for such a journey.

Nothing said here is intended as criticism or judgement. There are few more unfortunate circumstances than a person becoming disordered in their personality because it happens during the earliest years of childhood. I feel sad for every one of us that’s subject to such a life story.

One of the most complicated labels is Narcissistic Personality Disorder. A person with NPD has little or no chance of understanding or accepting that they have this disorder and even if they do, it’s almost impossible to commit to treatment that could help them unpick it, because to do so would go against the absolute need to deny their wound is there.

When an NPD parent brings up a child, undoubtedly it means that the child experiences some shocking deficits that would impact their life. They may need to walk away. Maybe they stay. Either way is difficult.

A parent with NPD would find it difficult to show genuine love, empathy, compassion or gratitude. They may say they understand you, love you or are grateful, but over time, you realise they’re hollow words that are not backed up.

Almost everything revolves around the NPD person, leads back to them and their needs, worries or affairs, although they may be skilled at making it look otherwise. Truth is, they live for drama and their life is often chaotic and complicated as they draw drama around them.

An NPD parent will usually have a charming and highly social persona so that others think they’re fun, charming people. They may be overly affectionate, a ‘talk-to-anybody’ kind of person. They are charismatic, often successful people. As their child, you will see this side being demonstrated, but not so much within the core family. The side projected towards you may be a completely different picture which is very confusing since many will see your challenging parent as a lovely person and that’s not likely to be your reality at all.

The NPD person contains and expresses an absolute sense of entitlement. Maybe they need to express how special and unique they are, maybe they become angry when they feel someone doesn’t understand or appreciate them or didn’t value their specialness, maybe they simply make things about themselves and expect others to organise their lives around them, be at their disposal.

Walking away from an NPD parent is a real consideration, sometimes it’s the only way to heal and learn to love ourselves. I didn’t.

I maintained a good distance and limited contact for many years. Eventually, I found a way to get closer, to abate the onslaught, stay calm, ignore or walk away when needed. I learned it’s of no use to try to explain things in the hope they may understand and adjust their behaviour. Totally pointless.

I love my parent and feel sad that they’re trapped by conditions that were never asked for or deserved and they don’t understand any of it. My parent created in me a pleaser and fixer from a young age but I don’t please or fix so much nowadays, thanks to inner child healing. It’s such freedom to no longer carry the drive to have to do that. I can accept other people’s journeys for what they are, including that of my parent, and focus on my own journey, the only one I have the power to change.

Do you have an NPD-type person in your life? Did you have a difficult time with a parent growing up? Are you still struggling? Have you learned to love yourself, through healing from such a dynamic? Have you understood the gifts and opportunities that are open to you? Have you found all the love you need inside yourself, so you don’t need it from your parent anymore?

If this resonates for you, my love and blessings are with you. There are many others sharing this journey, you’re not on your own. Quite often, we live for years without knowing that it’s never been about us. Then, we hear or read something and start to see the whole of our past in a new way that makes sense. It helps to understand, it’s part of the healing. There may be little we can do but understand, yet that, in itself, is the start of healing, not only for ourselves but for previous generations.

Many of us are healing now and our insights are changing the energy of the past too. We are clearing it for our parents and grandparents and their parents too. We are all healing, only some of us consciously, but that’s all it takes.

(Image: “Opening The Box” by Amenet Drago)

Posted in healing, love

Looking at Children Differently

As a society, I can’t help thinking that society may have some healing to do when it comes to attitudes towards children.

Too often, I hear adults putting young people down. It’s as though some adults have forgotten what it’s like to be a child growing up in the world.

Children are sometimes perceived as demanding and needy. This may be because they are not getting their needs met. They try to get their needs met but maybe there are people around them who just don’t know how to meet them.

Young people are often accused of being rude and disrespectful. Have we not considered that they are confused about the messages they’re picking up? The adult world is full of mixed messages that don’t make sense and fearful messages coming from the media. Young people’s behaviour can be seen as a reflection of what’s going on inside them and there are times when the world today is enough to make anyone feel angry.

Some may think that young people are lazy, not making an effort, not trying hard enough, neither interested or motivated in what’s going on around them. Is it possible that they’re simply disengaged?

That might be the case if they feel disempowered or controlled. Are they feeling undervalued? Children are frequently put under pressure by adults. They may be told that their school days are the best days of their lives and that life is going to get a lot tougher. And that might make them feel misunderstood and unsupported if school’s stressful and they’re anxious about the future. Confusion causes frustration and stress.

Another common comment aimed at children is that they’re spoilt or entitled. Once again, if this is so, it’s a reflection of the parenting style they are subject to.

We may label children as troublesome or bad when they act in a way that makes us feel uncomfortable, and likewise, see them as good when they meet our standards and expectations. We must remember that we automatically embody a position of authority from our adult stance and we need to be aware of treating each child with the respect and acknowledgment that’s due from one human being to another.

Do you remember what it felt like to be a child?
Did you feel seen? Did you feel heard?
Were you given respect?
Were you validated and supported?
What are we choosing to pass on to the next generation of adults?

[Image: “Child Amongst the Ancestors: Stonehenge Summer Solstice” by Amenet Drago]

Posted in Abundance and lack, Ascension, darkness and light, Inspiration, love, Mother Earth

Love and Peace and the Happiest Man in the World

How was Christmas? One of the best things about Christmas is permission to have fun, to play, laugh and let our hair down. Did you get to do that this year?

Christmas isn’t always about having fun, sometimes it’s about grief and sadness. For some, it’s a continuation of the abuse or homelessness that is there every day.

I once heard a story about a man who everyone called “the happiest man alive.” He lived in abject poverty, no home, no job, no money, and yet, he was always full of joy. He walked the streets, everyone knew him in the neighbourhood, and he made it his business to look for something helpful to do every day. He was often found picking up litter and putting it in the rubbish bin, after all, his lifestyle meant he had an intimate relationship with the contents of bins.

In the park, people who looked sad would soon find a big smile from him. Many went to him with their problems, which is strange because he didn’t specialise in problems, he only beamed out love.

He had no family or friends, although everyone knew his name and many stopped to talk. Once in a while, someone would offer him an old woolly sweater or a hot meal which he accepted graciously. His name was Carl.

As for you and me, and Carl’s neighbours, we don’t know how to live the secret that Carl instinctively embodied.

All our feelings, thoughts, words and actions are not responses to what goes on around us but to what is going on inside.

If we feel sad, then something inside us is resonating with sadness, maybe it’s the grief of losing a loved one. Sometimes, the person we’ve lost and are grieving the lack of is ourselves.

When we are resonating love and peace inside, then we’re like Carl. It doesn’t matter what or who we lost, it doesn’t matter how unfair life seems, it doesn’t matter what others do or say, we continue to experience joy, happiness, blessings and peace because it’s always there inside.

The secret to life is to understand this truth and come to live it. We are here, right now, worrying about the Earth and the state of the world. We are embodying and expressing sadness, fear, worry, lack, not being enough, not having the answer, hopelessness, frustration, anger. The list goes on. How can we embody love and peace when we engage with everything going on outside and around us with these other emotions?

Now, imagine if everyone in the world put their energy into finding and expressing inner peace and love. Do you realise that would remove all the perceived problems in the world because everyone would be thinking and acting from peace and love? That’s the reason we are here.

Wake up, beautiful soul, stop putting yourself through so much pain, this is simple. All you need do is see it and choose it. You have the answer, we all do.

(Image: “Ignite Love and Peace, They Are Waiting Inside” by Amenet Drago

Posted in Inspiration, love

On Raising Apprentice Adults

Parenting is such an important and honourable role, it can become a little overwhelming at times. Here are some fundamental reminders about raising apprentice adults (children):

Give your apprentice adults space to explore themselves, the world and others, trust them.

Provide boundaries that gently enclose them in love whilst allowing them room to breathe.

Good boundaries are a balance between trust and nurture.

What is the purpose of each boundary you set, is it coming from your fear? Is it coming from your love?

Uphold your loving boundaries consistently and calmly.

Encourage creativity, free thinking, inventiveness, imagination, individuality and don’t put out their spark.

Allow your apprentices to have a true, clear voice. Really see them for who they are and validate them for being true to themselves, by letting them know you hear them and see them.

Let your little ones know they are loved without conditions.

Accept they are not you.

Accept that your job is to prepare your children for the world and then to let them go so they can explore it.

Remember, you don’t own them, they owe you nothing, you cannot live through them, you are here to guide them to be their best selves as they learn to step out into the world on their own.

Try not to label them as ‘clever’ or ‘pretty’ or such, because you may be setting standards they feel a need to live up to, and that might create a pressure for them that’s difficult to manage.

Instead, compliment individual accomplishments and behaviours in the moment, with sincerity. Celebrate all the little victories and achievements with them.

Don’t be fearful of the world yourself, or let them see your “what if…?” fears for them, or they will carry those fears with them, which will be crippling.

You are here to model unconditional love, respect, integrity, gratitude, trust and honesty.

Even though they are children and you are an adult, you are each souls of equal worth. Your children will have gifts and learning for you, allow them to teach you.

Even your mistakes are necessary and important for them to witness, because they need to know we are all human and that’s as it should be.

Be patient when they make mistakes, remember all the mistakes you made.

When they mess up, remind them who they really are.

If you get angry, take a pause. It only takes a few seconds to say something that could take years to heal.

As a parent, you won’t be perfect or necessarily healed of all your emotional wounds. That’s okay, show your children that you are okay with not being perfect and are stepping up to yourself, because you love and respect yourself enough to do so. This learning is the single best gift you can give.

Don’t forget to have lots of fun, laughter and play together. Enjoy each other 💖

Give yourself a big pat on the back because in being a parent, you’re doing the most incredible and important job in the world, with no manual, and you’re truly amazing.

(Image: “Working Myself Out” by Amenet Drago)

Posted in healing, Inspiration, love, The Truth of our Being

We Are Each Responsible For Ourselves

Imagine a world where every adult is truly responsible for themselves.

Not for anybody else, just themselves.

Everybody.

Fully committed to their own needs, their own growth, their own healing.

Stepping up to themselves.

Now, that’s the world we need.

That world is realised when we stop looking outside ourselves.

When we stop thinking we are incomplete without another.

When we stop trying to help, fix, change or heal others.

We are not responsible for them,

We are responsible for ourselves.

This is not selfishness,

This is love.

(Image: “Love Is A Vibrant Feeling” art by Amenet Drago)