Posted in Inspiration, The Truth of our Being

Identity

Who we are is so arbitrary.

What country we were born in.

What family we were born in.

The name that was chosen for us.

The religion and culture that was attributed to us.

The aspirations that were handed to us.

It’s all so abstract.

None of it really belongs to us at all.

And knowing that is what freedom is.

[Image: ‘People gathering at Stonehenge Summer Solstice’ photograph by Amenet Drago]

Posted in darkness and light, Inspiration

The Gifted

There are two sides to the same coin,

And just the same, we may have two sides

Because of the gift we bear.

When we have a gift,

We contend with what it costs to have that gift.

And it’s hard to say what that cost will be.

The gift could be anything, any talent, ability or skill,

And it often comes from darkness

For, it is our earliest adversities that give birth to our greatest gifts.

The cost of that gift is the darkness that comes with it.

And if the darkness eats us up,

If we’re holding anger within us because of adversities from the past,

Be aware of the anger you hold inside.

Anger is a potent spice,

A pinch wakes us up, too much dulls our senses.

Anger is our fighter self who keeps us moving forward

But also, it paralyses.

Our strength came from darkness,

Our hope is in darkness.

We are light and dark, we are all of it.

As long as we accept it as so,

We will not be consumed.

(Words inspired by ‘The Queen’s Gambit’)

[Image: ‘Sparks In The Dark’ art by Amenet Drago]

Posted in healing, love, Personal Story

Acts Of Self Love

A few weeks ago, I started to consciously consider what was happening on a daily basis, in terms of loving and nurturing myself.

I was going through a difficult period, away from the peaceful solitude of my beloved sanctuary, my home, in an environment that was challenging every day, where making compromises was necessary in each moment.

A month long task of love and support for someone at the centre of my life was called for, someone whose own life seemed to be falling apart to them.

They were understandably scared and unable to appreciate the value of my presence or kindly intentions because of their health, anxiety and personality. Things were not running smoothly between us and we were both struggling.

I needed to look after myself as I looked after them but was too tired and too busy.

It took effort to structure some acts of self love instead of simply pouring myself into practical tasks for my charge. I made changes that slowed down my day and set me up for it much better. Initially, things changed.

It changed the atmosphere in the house and both our attitudes lightened. We began to be constructive, considering little ways to brighten the day and we related to each other with more harmony.

It didn’t last for more than a day or two because we were in such a difficult and challenging situation. The darkness still had plenty of gifts to bring and is still bringing them, but it brought a reprieve for a while, a refresh that could be repeated.

More importantly, it helped me remember something important, that when someone behaves badly towards us, there might very well be a scared and wounded child hiding inside that person, no matter how old they are.

Such circumstances are best met with gentleness and understanding, if possible, even when the natural impulse is to treat them as the enemy, which is reasonable when we’re under attack. I do know just how hard a thing that can be to do.

Especially when it’s a parent who was supposed to be the one to love us. Sometimes, that’s something that parents never learn how to do and it’s a big lesson for us to be the receiver of such a realisation.

When I look at myself now, I am proud of how I’ve navigated such a journey. I’m learning to be the bigger person.

When someone treats us poorly, we can always choose to be the bigger person by not answering their aggression with our own. And this is as true for nations as it is for personal relationships.

[Image: ‘Brilliance’ art by Amenet Drago]

Posted in darkness and light, Energy healing, Ukraine, war

Compassion At The Heart Of Our Connection

Of late, you may have noticed I’ve cut my posts down to two a week. However, I’m feeling drawn to make additional posts at the moment, in order to share developments and insights coming through during my energy healing for the crisis in Ukraine.

I continue to be blown away by an awareness of many beings who are energetically present over Ukraine, they are sending so much healing and protective energy to the people and the land. There are many beings there from the inner planes and many who are living on Earth, visiting in their meditations, people like you and me. Perhaps you are amongst them.

As I’ve said before, in addition to sending energies to Ukraine, I also focus on sending healing energies to the Russian President. I am immersing him in the violet flame ray of transformation and bathing him in the soft pink light of unconditional love. Then, I’m placing drops of golden liquid light into his crown chakra to bring in the energy of divinity. Finally, I’m placing a rainbow crystal into his energy field. This crystal looks like a regular quartz crystal except it’s blue in colour and it directs rainbow light that carries codes and templates specific to his needs into his being.

As I was doing this tonight, I sensed that the two energies most in need of dissolving within his being are anger and a deep, almost hidden feeling of unworthiness.

So, it is the energies of inner peace to quell the anger alongside divinity and unconditional love bringing him to worthiness that he needs to receive the most.

This will help counteract the patterns and triggers he expresses as aggression and a sense of entitlement, which are displayed in his actions.

I know it may feel like going against the grain to make him the focus of healing but I feel this is a critical part of the overall solution.

If we energetically match his anger by directing our anger towards him, we are only increasing anger. If we feel hatred for him and direct that, we are fuelling his arrogant and haughty behaviours and attitude.

It’s only natural to feel anger and dislike for someone who behaves like him, but what are we trying to achieve here and how do we become the bigger person?

If he, or anyone else, provokes those feelings in us, we do have the power to choose differently by invoking our higher self rather than our egoic nature.

By all means, feel angry, express that anger. Feel hatred, frustration, fury, despair and deep, deep sadness at what’s going on. Let it flow, let it out, don’t block whatever emotions want to emerge, and don’t feel bad for having them. But don’t stay there. Move on, and when you do, when you embody compassion and love, then you are ready to direct your healing energies where they are needed.

We are living at a time when humanity has the opportunity and power to come together in oneness, with compassion and unconditional love at the heart of our connection. It is this possibility that we are here to actualise.

[Image: ‘Light And Dark Clouds At Sunset, Seen From My House’ photograph by Amenet Drago]

Posted in darkness and light, inner child, Personal Story

Fire From Within

The other day, things got a little fiery. I was in conversation with someone who knows me well and who I love greatly when things started to get out of hand. At first, I was calm and patient but when I felt we were going around in circles and I wasn’t feeling heard, I got fierce.

Two days later, we had a conversation about it when it was said to me; “Because you do so much spiritual work, I was surprised to see all that anger in you!”

You and me both. I had to take a look at it myself.

I remember, a long time ago, someone asked me why I hold myself back and I said, “Because if I were to let go, people will get annihilated.” I really felt the rage that existed inside me but didn’t have the capacity to understand or release it at the time. It was going to have to come out at some point.

It seems I’m learning to let it go.

When we’re on the spiritual journey, there comes a time when we finally learn to embrace our love for ourselves and then we no longer tolerate what we used to accept from others. And that’s when things can get empowering.

I’ve always known that kind of power is inside me.

Like Kali, Cailleach and Ceredwen, I am fierce and capable of delivering a fatal blow to your ego. I can unleash fury like a lioness, strike like a cobra with my cutting words.

I embody the Crone, I am a cracking whip that stings but the sting won’t linger. The more I love you, the more I will honour you with my fire.

Don’t get me wrong, 99.9% of the time, I’m kind, caring, easy going and tolerant. But lately, the deeper I go inside and the more I make space for myself, the less will I tolerate and the fiercer I am.

For some years now, I’ve been healing many traumatised, abandoned, rejected and lonely inner children of mine. I’ve been searching for them, embracing them, acknowledging and loving them, healing and integrating them back into my being, into my heart, into my whole self. Those beautiful children have suffered so much. And some are angry.

Each integrated inner child has my permission to express the entirety of their true selves through me, all the qualities that I once embodied but were knocked out of me. They brought back to life the feisty, sparky firecracker I used to be, now expressed as a grown up who’s ready to claim the full extent of her power.

No filter, no regulating dial, just full-on, absolute brutal honesty. Yes, it’s true, I’m not for everybody. And these days, I come with a warning.

Posted in Ascension, I AM Presence, sovereignty, The Truth of our Being

Identity – It’s a Lie

Every identity or label merely hides our naked truth.

These are lies we don’t see ourselves making but we are.

We are lying to ourselves in every moment.

Who am I, really?

Who are you?

How do you answer that without using a label that expresses your existence relative to something or someone else?

How do you define yourself without such words?

Truth, you will find your core, authentic self inside your being.

You will recognise it by it’s incomparable beauty.

You will have no words to describe it, perhaps only surreal ones.

Words like ‘immensity’ and ‘fragrant’.

You will find the person you are by becoming atuned to that feeling that tells you “I am being real with myself”.

It will be indisputable.

(Image: ‘Soul Water’ gouache painting art by Amenet Drago)

Posted in Ascension, darkness and light, healing, Poetry

Seeing the Light Through Struggle

When something unpleasant comes up, what do you do? Do you hold it inside to avoid creating unpleasantness for others? Or do you express your feelings and go through that unpleasantness in order to work it out and clear the air? And what if you get caught up with the other person in a whole world of hurt and recrimination? What if you can’t work it out together?

I recently found myself in this position, we do, from time to time. I went through all my hurt feelings, explored the dialogues I might have with the other and finally saw that my hurt was coming from inside me, not from the actions of others but from what those actions brought up in me.

What was the learning here?

Sometimes, it’s as though someone is purposely trying to push our buttons, creating drama and trouble. Even so, our reaction is down to us. How do we show strength, so not to be a push-over, and yet, rise above it?

I asked for guidance, helping me to see the underlying message for me. I realised old hurts were being triggered. I realised I had choices, that new directions were possible. Still, I didn’t know if I was going to say anything to the other person. It would take a little time for the feelings to resolve within me. Sometimes, I was calm about it, sometimes the feelings would rise up. I noticed that when I’m calm about it, the problem’s no longer there.

It’s always a good idea to stay with those feelings for a while, because they shift through a process of change and a day or two later, we might not feel the same. Sometimes, we need to talk about it, no matter how painful it may be. Sometimes, we don’t.

I found that the message and healing for me was the realisation that this is igniting a journey of transformation inside me. To remain in a place of connection, not fear, for hurt is a form of fear. This was an opportunity for me to turn within and reconnect with the light within my being, and just like that, I was reminded of a moment, two years ago, when the light flooded through my being like a cascade of the deepest, most incredible love and enlightenment. I knew that moment was with me still, once experienced, never lost, and here was a reminder to open to it again and embrace that light within.

At the time, a friend who witnessed my enlightening experience gave me this poem which I share with you now. It’s a reminder that, even if we don’t hold onto those powerful moments of growth, even if we plunge into darkness again, we don’t lose the moment. It’s called ‘Annunciation’ by Marie Howe:-

Even if I don’t see it again — nor ever feel it
I know it is — and that if once it hailed me
it ever does–

And so it is myself I want to turn in that direction
not as toward a place, but it was a tilting
within myself,

as one turns a mirror to flash the light to where
it isn’t — I was blinded like that — and swam
in what shone at me

only able to endure it by being no one and so specifically myself I thought I’d die
from being loved like that.

(Image: “Turbulent Waters” by Amenet Drago)

Posted in divine magic, Shamanism

Sacred Clown

I wrote about the healing power of creativity and play recently and that got me thinking about the shamanic role of the sacred clown.

In certain tribal cultures, there’s a community role for sacred clowns. They are called by different names in different tribes, one commonly known name is heyoka, so I’ll use that term here.

The role of the sacred clown is not so much to make people laugh but to make them think. They do that by absurd and often backwards behaviour; they may be nice to an unpleasant person and mean to a kind person. This would mirror what each needs to learn. The unpleasant person would usually be treated dismissively but rarely receive any kindness. The kind person would expect to be treated pleasantly, so being treated badly for no reason presents a challenge to their ego. The heyoka is very tuned in to what people need and intuitively provides it.

In the West, clowns in circuses throw custard pies, mime slapstick entertainment that may also involve the kind of unexpected ‘backward’ behaviour used by the heyoka. We also have comedians whose words may get us thinking about things in a different way. Neither are seen as spiritual roles like heyoka, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t anything spiritual going on.

Most tribal societies that are healthy, balanced and not adversely impacted by the Western world, naturally thrive on laughter. Every activity can produce humour and fun, even spiritual ceremonies and sacred events are often light-hearted and full of laughter. Laughter is reverence, whereas to us, being serious and not ‘playing about’ is reverence.

Heyoka act as role models for the community, reminding people to turn things around, what we might term thinking outside the box. They mimic and tease a person to help them see differently and challenge the ego. They use the ridiculous and surreal to jolt people out of a complacent mindset. They are powerful and highly respected members of the community who can break taboos that nobody else would dare.

In Europe, we used to have jesters in medieval times. That’s where the term ‘playing the fool’ came from. Jesters were usually close to the throne and could get away with more than most. They were free to insult and name-call by means of japes. Perhaps they once had a similar role to heyoka.

A special skill of the Celtic druids was a form of poetry called satire. In the past, satire was akin to making a curse, a powerful act intended to cause injury. Once a person was satirised, they were stripped of their legendary Celtic pride and could no longer show their face, they were effectively ostracised and banished afar. Today, satire is a kind of humour but to the Celts, it was a powerful weapon. Satire was executed by a well trained bard who understood how to use the profound magical power of words.

Have you heard about the ancient totem poles discovered at Stonehenge, predating the stones? If so, you may realise there are spiritual artefacts shared between prehistoric British culture and native American tribal societies. Despite being separated geographically and by thousands of years, shamanic societies across the world had common understandings and similar ways of expressing their relationship with the land and each other. And some practices are as relevant today as ever they were, like the sacred clowns.

(Image: “Shamanic Sacred Clown Heyoka” art by Amenet Drago)

Posted in darkness and light, healing, inner child, love

Power Play and Boundaries

Setting boundaries can be hard and that’s something coming to the fore at the moment. It’s so easy to let things slip, then it’s difficult to do a u-turn and put a boundary in place.

And we can feel confused about how to communicate what we want in the best way.

There are times we are going to upset other people and that’s okay.

Have you ever come across a bully? Most people have and where there’s a bully there’s a person or people being bullied.

Have you ever wondered what determines that one person holds all the power and another person is powerless? It’s like a silent agreement between them.

The bully has made control and power their own. The bully feels entitled and lacks empathy.

The bullied is holding victim consciousness, feels guilt and apologises for their needs.

There’s a bully in my environs and although there’s talk about how troublesome they are, people continue enabling their behaviour.

It’s a two-way dance, it takes a mutual agreement. We do have the power to change that dynamic.

The bully in my environs is sometimes confronted but then, the same old dynamic quickly returns. In this dynamic, the souls are learning about personal power, not only the one who is controlling and manipulative but those struggling to stand up for themselves, to find and uphold their boundaries and embody their sense of empowerment. And this means learning how to love, honour and respect oneself.

Are you setting and protecting your boundaries?

Are you involved in a power play with anyone?

What are you learning from them about yourself?

Does that make you feel like changing in any way?

(Image: “Goddess: Yin Yang” by Amenet Drago)

Posted in inner child, Inspiration, love

Feeling Hurt

Epiktetos, a Greek philosopher who lived from 50AD to 135AD once said:

“Another person will not hurt you without your cooperation. You are hurt the moment you believe yourself to be.“

How are we complicit when someone hurts us?

In what ways do we enable the other person to influence us thus?

Where is the hurt we feel coming from?

It cannot happen without our consent and our emotional response is the soul agreement we have with the other.

Their words or actions activate something that already exists inside us and then we feel hurt.

We created that, not them. Because we carry the potential to be hurt.

We are receiving an opportunity to perceive the hurt we are carrying.

It’s only when a belief we are carrying that isn’t true changes that the patterns change.

The belief is very old and very deep. It’s absolute and so deep we may not realise it’s there.

Hurt is the signal that alerts us to the presence of a false belief within us.

It’s our inner child that’s hurting.

What does our inner child need that’s missing?

To be loved, to be seen, to be heard, to be acknowledged, to know that they are truly worthy.

So you see, when someone hurts us it’s a gift, a chance to meet our hurt inner child and remind them they are loved, heard, seen, valued and so, so worthy.

Image: “Understanding My Hurt Feelings” by Ananda Amenet Reid