Posted in healing, Personal Story

The Last Post

A writer fabricates a narrative by linking events together. Every story is coloured and defined, a comedy or tragedy, depending on how the writer interprets events and the connections between them. Without this, there is no story, only a landscape of disparate words. A landscape that is broad, infinite and mysterious, just as our inner landscape is one of divine magic and mystery.

To accept that inner magical landscape, we must abandon the idea of making any sort of connection between one idea and another. We grasp nothing.

Opening ourselves up to the mystical landscape of our soul and its wordlessness, that is the greatest healing.

Words don’t go far enough. There’s magic in words, they are spells, hence ‘spelling’, but for deep healing we have to get beyond words and into the abstract. We need to bypass the intellect which gets caught up with words. What’s called for is a deeper, wordless knowing.

That’s the kind of healing journey I’ve been on, the kind that heals from within, the only holistic healing there is. The kind that teaches you that everything exists inside you, everything. And it’s no longer words, it’s knowing.

When you’re reborn through that kind of healing, you are born to yourself. You are your own mother and you are foetus and newborn babe all at the same time. You are all that you ever were, are now and will ever be. Nothing is the same from that moment on. And there’s really nothing left to say.

So it is, this is my last post. My blog is ending here and now, this website will soon be taken down. Those who need me will find me, the universe will take care of that.

One day, there may be a new website, but right now, nothing more needs to be spoken, nothing is waiting to be said. I have entered that inner, magical landscape and from here, I am learning to paint my truth without words.

Posted in gender, sexual healing, The Truth of our Being

Exploring Gender

I’m interested in gender and the constructive nature of the genders we embody.

We know that from the moment we are born, we’re conditioned to conform with the gender our body represents.

Before birth, we all began with female physicality and some stay that way whilst others develop a male body.

Does a newborn baby know what gender it is?

Is gender purely physical or is it defined by a number of different factors, such as cognitive, emotional, spiritual and energetic frameworks?

It’s clear that humans usually place the defining factor on the body.

Over time, males and females learn to walk differently, speak differently, act, think and believe from different parameters.

We dress differently, arrange our appearance in different ways and live life in different roles.

Everything around us supports this; culture, family, society, media, religion, politics, education, law, business.

We are living at a time when people are breaking through these parameters but it’s still not easy and neither is it safe for many.

I identify as a woman but feel masculine too. It’s not either-or, I feel I contain both within the totality of my being.

We are all performers in our daily lives but we’re not aware of the fact that we’re performing. There’s the person we are when we’re asking the bank manager for a loan, the person we are when we’re talking to young children, we’re someone else when we’re dancing with our friends. We have all these different behaviours and all of it is a performance.

Who we are depends on what we decide to take upon ourselves and become.

I believe that if we explore gender as a part of our truth, we open up to healing and awaken positive qualities that are suppressed within us when we limit our truth. We can understand ourselves and each other so much better if we embrace ourselves as beings that embody both feminine and masculine energies.

Posted in ancestors, elemental kingdom, healing

Wandering Womb

Did you know that in the ancient world there was this idea that the womb could wander around inside a woman’s body?

The thought was, it was a being inside our being, a living thing, some called it an animal, some a beast.

Further, they believed it was sensitive to odours and would move towards pleasant smells and away from unpleasant ones. Thus, they treated a displaced womb by wafting scents over the body.

They postulated that a misplaced womb was the cause of hysteria.

Incredible, hey? There’s nothing like that in the body, is there? Well, actually there is a living being inside our bodies, and not only women. It’s not one that exists at the physical level. As you may know, energy manifests at various frequencies and as it becomes denser, it manifests at the noetic level, that’s the world of ideas, and then denser still at the emotional level and finally, densest of all, the physical.

There’s a great deal that exists on Earth at an emotional level but not physical, and yet has consciousness. Of course, the disbelievers will want material proof and that’s a problem, but many people have their own proof, called personal experience.

I’m referring to spirits, such as those our ancestors have experienced for tens of thousands of years. Our own departed loved ones. Mythical creatures such as unicorns and dragons. Angels and beings from the stars. And plant, tree, landscape and elemental beings.

And it’s of these last that I refer with regards the wandering womb. You see, every human, animal and living creature on Earth, not just plants and trees, has an elemental being attached to them from their birth to death.

This being has a job, the same, no matter what it’s attached to. It’s to support that entity in growing, living and expressing it’s divine blueprint.

Can you imagine what a difficult job elementals have with us humans? We, the ones with the free will to go our own way? We are least likely of all to live with a pure intention to express the divine on Earth, that is our blueprint. If we did, our bodies would be flexible, healthy, full of vitality and of the ideal proportions and weight.

Unfortunately, we abuse our bodies dreadfully, and our poor old elemental is overwhelmed by our behaviours that make its job untenable. The same is true of our mental and emotional selves, indeed, every expression of our being is tested to the limit. And then there’s our lifecycle and ways of living. No longer being conscious of our place within the web of life, no longer honouring the Earth and all our animal sisters and brothers, or the plants and trees, or the soil. No longer honouring ourselves or each other. We go through some vital transitions such as adolescence, life partnership, becoming a parent, menopause, retirement and death. In the past, there were rituals which informed and supported our elemental, allowing us to transition smoothly, but nowadays we mostly ignore these events.

What do you think all this misalignment with the emotional consciousness that guides all our systems might create? Yes, hysteria. In other words, a whole heap of common and severe mental health conditions. Not to mention physical conditions. So, maybe the ancient Greeks did have an inkling about what was going on.

If you could talk to your elemental, which you can, what would you say?

If you could hear your elemental, which you can by opening your channel and accepting what comes to you, what do you think it would say to you?

When I did this, the first thing I said was, “I’m so sorry.”

[Image: ‘Ordering the internal body: A thirteenth century uterus diagram in Bodleian, MS Ashmole 399’ courtesy of Thinking3D]

Posted in darkness and light, Inspiration

The Gift

“Have you ever felt like you were lost?

That you didn’t know where you were going or where you came from?

Have you ever asked yourself, “Who am I?

What should I remember?

What is my deepest wish from the bottom of my heart?”

I know you must have a wish like that, because we all do.

I learned that we really have to believe in miracles.

All you have to do is take that leap.

If you stop resisting and surrender,

You’ll see that even the most painful thing in life is a gift.

Instead of thinking, “How can I get rid of this burden?”

Ask yourself, “In what way is this a gift?”

The steps you take to escape the pain can bring you to the edge.

And if you cross over that edge, you can never go back to sleep.”

⁃ taken from ‘The Gift’ by Jason George and Nuran Evren Sit

P.S. The picture today is a close up shot of a monkey puzzle tree’s bark. If you enlarge and zoom into the centre of the eye, you might be able to spot two tiny figures, a male and female greeting each other with arms raised. Or is that just my vivid imagination?

Posted in Inspiration, love

Love Is Not Nice

I am not nice

I am love

Love is not nice

Love is love.

What is ‘nice’, anyway?

Nice is a word that needs to be quantified

It’s a judgy word.

Love doesn’t need to be quantified

It stands alone,

There really is only love.

Love is our natural state.

Being nice is one of fear’s many manifestations,

The fear of being judged

As not good enough,

Not worthy enough.

That’s what drives us towards being nice.

So, I’m giving up nice and focusing on

Just being love.

[Image: ‘Angel Wings Explosion’ art by Amenet Drago]

Posted in Abundance and lack, Ascension, Inspiration, love, oneness

Showing Up To Love

Do you realise

If we are to attain oneness and unity

As a human race

Anytime soon,

We had better start opening the door of our hearts,

We had better start spreading the love,

Being that beacon of light.

We had better stop holding back,

Fearing rejection,

Being polite,

Protecting our feelings.

No holding back now,

Nothing but honest to goodness

Authentic expression

Of totally ‘out there’ feelings

That radiate

One hundred per cent

Unconditional

Non-judgemental

Beautiful

Powerful

Supreme

Love

[Image: ‘Flower-Seed Suspension’ art by Amenet Drago]

Posted in darkness and light, Inspiration

Imperfect Is The New Perfect

Get comfortable with what’s not perfect,

Allow what’s imperfect in your life, imperfect in you.

These are precious gifts.

They bring treasures as well as pain.

Pain and suffering are so valuable.

When you experience and allow pain

You create space for the joy you’ve been missing.

Your imperfect is beautiful,

Let imperfect be your perfect.

[Image: ‘The Green Goblin’ art by Amenet Drago]

Posted in darkness and light, healing, Inspiration

Making Pearls From Grit

“When you create yourself, at some point you’re going to have to either let that creation go and take a chance on being loved or hated for who you really are, or you’re going to have to kill who you really are and fall into your grave grasping onto a character that you never were.

What is the grit that the pearl is built around? The pearl is the personality that you build around yourself as a protection against the thought, “If they ever find out that I’m worthless, if they ever find out that I’m not enough, I’ll be destroyed.”

The avatar you create and the cadence you come up with that’s pleasing to people, it takes them away from their issues and makes you popular, and then at some point you have to peel it away. It’s not who you are.

This is what everybody goes through when they create themselves to be popular or successful. You act a certain way and say a certain thing and lie through your teeth at times, and you do whatever you need to do to look like a winner.

And then at some point in your life you have to say, “I don’t care what it looks like. I found the hole in the psyche and I’m going through and I’m going to face the abyss of not knowing whether that’s going to be okay with everybody or not.”

At some point, they’re going to try to drown you in the middle of that abyss. But no, be the other guy. You told us you were this guy, the character you built, but no one can live with that forever.

People sometimes exist so completely in their character, they maybe don’t know how to get out of it or how to take another road. So, they might take the ultimate road, where they actually have to leave the planet to get out.

All we really yearn for is our own absence. We yearn for what happens at death.

I don’t have to worry about that anymore. I truly feel like if you ask me where I live right now, where the real me is, I would say that there’s a quiet, gentle seat in the universe that seems to contain everything and that’s where I am.

I don’t want anything. I have no ambition. I don’t have to go anywhere. That’s fascinating to me now….. the disappearing.”

– words by Jim Carrey (from the film ‘Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond’)

[Image: ‘Pearl With A Shell Inside’ art by Amenet Drago]

Posted in darkness and light, Inspiration

The Gifted

There are two sides to the same coin,

And just the same, we may have two sides

Because of the gift we bear.

When we have a gift,

We contend with what it costs to have that gift.

And it’s hard to say what that cost will be.

The gift could be anything, any talent, ability or skill,

And it often comes from darkness

For, it is our earliest adversities that give birth to our greatest gifts.

The cost of that gift is the darkness that comes with it.

And if the darkness eats us up,

If we’re holding anger within us because of adversities from the past,

Be aware of the anger you hold inside.

Anger is a potent spice,

A pinch wakes us up, too much dulls our senses.

Anger is our fighter self who keeps us moving forward

But also, it paralyses.

Our strength came from darkness,

Our hope is in darkness.

We are light and dark, we are all of it.

As long as we accept it as so,

We will not be consumed.

(Words inspired by ‘The Queen’s Gambit’)

[Image: ‘Sparks In The Dark’ art by Amenet Drago]

Posted in Energy healing, Inspiration

Surge

Have you ever noticed the surge? The surge is like a tidal wave. It’s a powerful and sudden swell of energy that pushes what needs to happen forward. It could be anything. It could be healing. It could be love. It could be creativity.

All of a sudden, the lull is over and you are really moving, gathering speed. 

Be prepared, be awake.  Your senses must be alert at all times, even when you are dallying with the mundane.  The surge can arrive at any moment and then you will riding on the crest of a wave. 

[Image: ‘Waiting for the wave, Llangrannog, Ceredigion, Wales’ photograph by Amenet Drago]