I feel called to return to the subject of death. And I almost feel like apologising because I know it’s not anybody’s favourite subject. But we really, really need to be talking about it. We really need to understand it better and reframe it for ourselves and each other. And I believe it’s through a spiritual filter that death is best understood.
And that’s not easy, for many, ‘spiritual’ means there’s no evidence, no logic and no validation.
Well, validation is personal, so maybe you have your own spiritual validation to call on, I know I do. Logic is subjective and what is logical to one is illogical to another. And evidence presents itself through experience, and when they’re outside the realm of all we are taught to believe, we question our experiences. But, in the end, that’s tantamount to questioning our own truth, and I’m not doing that anymore.
So, death. I so wish we were taught about this holistically from the cradle. Because all that we learn on this subject from an early age in our culture and society is messed up.
One problem is, we don’t know what death is. We don’t know what happens to us, it’s like there’s a big black hole of nothing at the end of what we call our life. And, of course, that’s frightening. That’s frightening for us and frightening to not know what happens to our loved ones when their time comes. And then, we all have some experiences of loss, of grieving, of being left when someone we love is gone. And how hard is that road.
We cannot find the answers in the material world for death. Materially, there’s an animated body with a personality and consciousness that’s living its life alongside us one minute, and then next, there’s a lifeless body with no glint in the eyes, no movement in the limbs, no breath in the lungs and no beat in the chest. We only need take one look and we know that person isn’t going to be interacting with us anymore. In fact, we take a look and we see they are simply not present anymore. They are gone. Which just goes to show it wasn’t ever about the body, it wasn’t ever about the material.
Something I say from time to time, we think of ourselves as physical beings but only our body is physical. We are also our personality, emotions, thoughts, consciousness, ego, soul, memories, none of that is physical. Strange then, when most of what we are made up of is energy that we don’t think of ourselves as energy beings first and foremost.
And death is all about energy.
I’m not here to convince you that there’s life after death. That, even when the body is an empty shell, our personality, emotions, thoughts, consciousness, ego, soul, and memories continue to exist and express as energy but without being visible because they are no longer contained in the body.
I will tell you this, I’ve had some funny experiences in life, seeing things, hearing things, knowing things, even smelling things. And not so that I needed to go see a mind doctor. Maybe you’ve had some experiences like that too, maybe you haven’t. Maybe you just heard about so many experiences others had, many, many others. Maybe you read up about all the different cultural beliefs and ideas about life after death, maybe you decided there’s got to be something in it.
Well, I’ll tell you one thing, whatever happens when our loved ones walk through that door called death, it’s going to hurt us hugely to lose them, they are not going to be there anymore in the same way, no matter how you look at it, and that’s always going to be hard. But grief is human, it’s natural. It’s going to hurt a lot and it’s going to take time to get used to them being gone. And even if you’re a psychic medium, someone who gets to talk to spirits who have crossed over all the time, you are still going to experience a heart-wrenching bereavement when your nearest and dearest pass through that door. And there’s nothing much we can do about that except understand and support each other.
And, of course, each death is different, there are circumstances that can make that process harder and easier. We need a death doula in every town. A person, maybe a shaman, who can support the process for the soul and for the family. And I guess that’s what I do, that’s what a psychopomp is. A death doula. It’s such a feeling of honour to be this, to be present with a family and a dying soul at such a profoundly intimate time. There is nothing like it.
It’s usually so peaceful, like being in the most incredibly holy sanctuary, church or temple to be with the soul at the time of transition. Loved ones in spirit are present, sometimes, angels and even Archangel Azrael is present. It’s a beautiful moment and it’s as if the person who is passing finds such deep peace at the last. I think, sometimes, they need to find that peace in order to finally let go.
I have come across frantic souls who passed quickly and tragically without knowing it, whose souls are scared and don’t know where they are or where to go, they didn’t have time for their soul to prepare them. It’s been such a blessing to be there for them and enable them to understand and adjust. Then, that deep peace descends and they calm down as they see the light, yes, there is a light, that’s where the deep peace is coming from. It’s a door opening, or perhaps, more accurately, a crack between the worlds. To stand at that crack and feel that love and peace, be bathed in that light, let’s just say I am never going to be fearful to be there for myself when the time comes.