Today, I am bringing to mind speaking our truth, opening our voice and not swallowing our words. This subject seems pertinent because last night, the Oprah interview with Harry and Meghan was broadcast in the UK on International Women’s Day, which seemed relevant. It brought to my mind a number of key issues about the enormity of speaking our truth, how fundamentally difficult that can be and how many fear factors can be stacked up against us, and sometimes the fear factors include that if we don’t speak the truth, new fears are going to be realised. So, it’s a big issue.
For me personally, it’s only in the last few years that I have found myself able to recognise who I am, enough to know what my truth is and what is the truth of my words. Partly, I have stuffed it down so deeply in terms of my childhood wounds and traumas that I haven’t been able to value myself enough to even know who I am or what my truth is. Part of that has been that I haven’t had the permission, as a child, to have a truth, or have a ‘self’, even. And it’s taken a lot of my adult life to come to the point where I’ve been able to understand and access my truth and find out who I am.
There have been times when I haven’t been truthful about my boundaries, my needs or myself, because of my fears of other people’s judgements, of what others will say, that I would be incapable of managing the assumed or perceived rejection and the assumed or perceived criticism or judgment.
Criticism and rejection have been two of the biggest themes of my childhood, into my adult life, because I’ve continued to be held hostage by those traumas and their underlying beliefs, developed at a very young age, including the behaviours I adopted or sought refuge with because of them. So, knowing what my truth is and speaking my truth has been a big issue for me.
These days, it’s not a problem, I have now voiced many truths that have been huge in my world and would have previously been impossible, but now they are said with freedom and power. Some recent examples have been changing my name, telling my mother about my tattoo, something I would have previously hidden rather than face the judgement and criticism. Another situation is deciding to leave my husband, a big one that I wouldn’t previously have been able to follow through. All sorts of truths are surfacing in my life now because I have a completely different attitude about who I am. I haven’t set out to increase the personal power that has given me the strength to uncover and declare my truth, it’s more that it’s unfolded as a part of my spiritual journey, a journey that’s another testament to stepping into my truth and speaking from it.
I do feel that what Harry and Meghan have unleashed through their interview is to model for many the power of speaking one’s truth and how the value of doing so is much greater than all of the fears and consequences. For them in particular, they are public figures, they are a part of the British monarchy which some might say is notoriously stuffed down in its truth.
It’s never wise to sit on our truth or be more concerned about the look of things, how we will be perceived and judged, those are not the kind of values we should be living by. Meghan and Harry have blown that out of the water. They have made themselves targets for being judged, everybody feels they now have a right to have an opinion about all they’ve said. Personally, I don’t feel inclined towards an opinion, or to judge or question whether or not their words are ‘The Truth’, I don’t think there is a ‘The Truth’ in this or any situation because we’re humans, we all have a filter, every single one of us has a filter and therefore, we can only ever experience our truth, only ever represent our truth, only ever validate our truth, and not the truth.
What Harry and Meghan have done is validated their truth. It doesn’t mean that the Royal Institution or other members of their family who may wish to have a say in the truth that Harry and Meghan have expressed, that they would or wouldn’t agree with it, it doesn’t matter. What matters is it’s the truth as they perceive it, and therefore it’s validated, and that’s the case for all of us.
When we express our truth, it doesn’t matter whether anybody judges or has a different view of the situation, they will do, we all see things from our own perspective and we’re probably never going to be able to fix an objective ‘Truth’, even though that’s what’s attempted in courts of law, I don’t think it’s ever really achieved. We don’t have to do that, we can just acknowledge each other’s truth, even when it’s different from our own. In family situations where resolution is taking place, if we uncover, by speaking our truth, that other members of the family see things from a different view, that truth can be accepted, allowed for and encompassed into the whole. Bringing everything out into the open, speaking from each person’s perspective and viewing the full picture can be illuminating and healing. To get to that healing place, it first has to come out, even though that can be terrifying. Let’s not be fearful of speaking from our true voice.