Posted in Abundance and lack, Inspiration, love, Storytelling

Stories of the Heart

Two stories have come up on my radar, both BBC i-player Storyville documentaries.  The first is about a sweet elderly gentleman, as he is dubbed by the elderly women in the film, several of whom fall in love with him.  He’s somewhere between 80 and 90 years old, this is the age requested in the newspaper advert of the detective agency looking for a mole to live in a nursing home for three months.  The agency has been engaged by a woman whose mother is in the home and she believes the staff are mistreating her mother and stealing from her.

Equipped with appropriate spy cameras in his spectacles and pen, our man is on the case.  Truly, he’s such a sweetheart, he makes friends with so many of the residents in his attempt to uncover what’s going on.  The outcome is not as expected.

Nobody has a bad word to say about the staff but our mole uncovers something else entirely.  Firstly, he discovers that an elderly woman with dementia is going around and taking things, so that’s why things were going missing.  The real crime is how many residents are sad and lonely because they’re getting little or no visits from family.  In the case of one woman who thinks her mother is still alive, the staff frequently arrange phone calls to her from themselves, they pretend to be her mother just to comfort her.  She pleads with her ‘mother’ to come and take her home.  It can’t be easy for the staff to hear her heartfelt pleas but they keep ringing, just the same.

The emotional pressure begins to take its toll on our elderly gentleman-spy who is struggling with the sadness and hurt he sees as his newfound friends talk about being abandoned by their so-called loved ones.  Even the lady whose daughter complained doesn’t seem to visit her mother.  As our intrepid gent reflects, perhaps her attitude towards the staff is a deflection of her own feelings of guilt concerning her mother’s situation.

The second story is that of the corruption in Romanian hospitals that was uncovered following a fire in a nightclub where 12 people died and then another 37 people who went to hospital later died.  Not from burns but because the conditions were so terrible that they became infected in their wounds and died.  The level of scandal and corruption that’s revealed is mind-boggling and horrific to imagine because it goes hand in hand with personal stories of people suffering or dying as a consequence.  One character is a newly appointed Minister of Health who is really trying to sort out the mess and fix the problem, but the level of corruption is so deep that it’s soon clear he has no chance, and then there’s an election and he’s out of the job as all his efforts are wiped away.

The reason I’m telling you about these stories, and sorry for the spoilers, is because they touched my heart so much I was, once again, reminded that my life is a million miles away from that kind of hurt and it does me good to remember it. There are many, many people in the world who live every day with such conditions that I cannot even imagine.

All I put out about spiritual growth and love and peace and such, it just paled into insignificance for a moment there, in the sight of the everyday difficulties these people endure.  I’m glad these stories came up on my radar to help remind me of who I am, how lucky I am and to be humble and remember that some people are just trying to find a way to get out of bed, put one foot in front of the other and survive. 

I know that those sweet, elderly people who are in their final years are feeling lonely and abandoned because of what’s going on inside their heads and how that makes them feel and they’re doing the best they can with what they’re given.  I know that those people whose bodies are disfigured and whose limbs are missing due to the fire and those that lost their children, they are also choosing whether to let that define them or not, and that’s their soul’s journey.  They all have my sincere blessings and so many others whose stories I don’t know.  During this life, some are dealing with the toughest conditions for what their soul needs, some are taking on massive challenges that have the potential to transform many, maybe even a nation, maybe even the world.  Love and blessings to you all, whoever you are, whatever your life brings.         

Posted in healing, I AM Presence, spiritual skills and techniques

How to Stop Worries, Anxieties and Depression

When I stop the world, I get into the stream of divine consciousness that the Welsh call Awen.  This word is not one that translates directly, but to me it means divine inspiration.  It’s like being an open channel most or all of the time. It’s a wonderful time to be creative and creative hands are healing hands. From the ancient wisdom of the elders, I learned that our hands are energetically linked to our heart and when we are moving and using our hands, we are healing our heart.  

To stop the world, I lean back into silence and solitude.  To begin with, my ego fights back, gets all antsy about being isolated and lonely.  But then, I stop engaging on that level and stop the world.  I sink into the peace.

Feeling lonely is only an emotion, an attitude, a state of mind, a choice, a judgement.  Like many other emotions, it’s not real. 

Stopping the world is a wonderful superpower to have.  You stop time.  You do this whenever you meditate or engage in any activity that brings your consciousness to a deeper level, like painting does for me.  And it’s maybe dancing, reading a book, listening to music or something else for you, those times when you drift off into a no-time zone. Because when we’re immersed in one thing in the now moment, we are stopping the world.

Stopping the world is another way to describe what I call conscious presence, when we’re totally aware and focused on the now.  That’s how you stop time.  Take your attention to what you see, hear, feel, smell, taste or touch right NOW.  Remain in the now moment with your perceptions and you stop time.  Focus completely on an object before you or study the back of your hand in minute detail, every crease, every hair, every freckle, every pore. There is no past or future when you do this. Therefore, there are no anxieties, because they are worries about what’s going to happen, and there’s no depression, because that’s ruminations about what has been.  In the now, everything is fine.    

When I stop time, then I find myself naturally existing within that stream of consciousness that feeds my soul.  Circumstances have led me to be out of contact with others, alone in my world most of the time, long enough to let go and let the power of that creative flow pour into my being, flood my mind, engage with emotions and coalesce as ideas and realisations.  Gosh, it’s so much better when my ego gives up and stops complaining.  All of a sudden, there are no problems, no obstacles, they just melt away.  Loneliness becomes peace, isolation becomes stillness, loss becomes bliss.

Posted in darkness and light, divine magic, healing, Inspiration

Healing Ceremony Magic

Comfort behaviours were activated last night.

They’ve always been my ways of coping with chronic loneliness.

Chronic loneliness is a hangover from childhood when loneliness was my constant companion.

As a child, I was never alone but always lonely because I didn’t feel seen or heard.

Now, I live in chosen isolation, and it can be awesome.

A place of freedom and empowerment to be me.

I’m not really lonely now, I’m alone and that’s different.  I just came out of a socially awesome time and am noticing the difference now everybody has gone, is all. 
And that’s a teacher.

And I guess I’m processing the end of my thirty-nine year relationship right now, a reason why I wrote about it in my post ‘Letting Go, Stepping Up’

I’m finding the space to look at myself and really see who I am without anybody else defining me.  I guess you could say I’m learning to own myself. 

And I know I can fast-track the emotional fall-out from this process by having a little ceremony and claiming it all, accepting it all. 

If you’re going through some personal stuff right now, would you consider taking a moment to have a little ceremony?  

And in that ceremony claim it all, accept it all, love it all, love yourself and include everything that’s happening in that.  Everything you don’t like, don’t want. 

Make it liked and wanted because it’s yours, it’s you and you don’t get to pick and choose if you’re going to love yourself unconditionally. 

Instead of picking it apart, mulling it over deep into the night, feeling awful and heading for the fridge like I just did, embrace it. 

We go around in circles when we try to understand it intellectually because it’s not intellectual stuff, it’s deep down stuff and has to be embraced at that deep down level.

It’s a shift that takes place inside to get there, to be able to stop trying to make sense of it.

Claiming it, accepting it and loving it is the healing here.  I am reminded of some words from Mary Oliver’s poem, ‘Annunciation’:

“And so it is myself I want to turn in that direction
not as towards a place, but it was a tilting
within myself,
as one turns a mirror to flash the light to where
it isn’t – I was blinded like that – and swam
in what shone at me”

It’s total magic in the biggest sense, in the way that life is magic, everything is magic. 

Your ceremony is anything you want it to be, any words or actions you choose. 

Make it up from your heart.  It can be five minutes or all day.  You may light a candle or smudge yourself or you may not.  You may burn some words in a flame or break something to represent cutting ties, or not. 

Just put your heart into it and allow yourself to be guided.  But at some point, say the words with conviction. 

And this is what to say. Claim all the stuff that’s going on as a part of who you are and send love to it all, even the ‘bad’ stuff or ‘wrong’ stuff (there is no bad or wrong because there are no judgements here). 

Give all your love, give to yourself your unconditional love. 

(Unconditional – unpack that word, it means total acceptance.) 

Accept your stuff and accept yourself.  Completely and totally – now, then step back and watch the magic happen.       

Posted in Abundance and lack, Ascension, channelled message, divine magic, Energy healing, Goddess, healing, I AM Presence, Inspiration, love, oneness, Online workshops, Soul Integration, Soul Mastery, spiritual skills and techniques, the Creator, The Truth of our Being, transformation, Twin Flame

Divine Union Is You

We live our lives with the illusion of separation and it causes us so much trouble and gives us so many rich experiences for our growth.

A double edged sword, you might say.

We are now fast-tracking our growth and healing and bringing that sense of separation to an end as we invite and embody divine union.

How do we do this? We activate and ignite our twin flame.

Your twin flame is an energy that sits at the core of your soul. Activating it is akin to connecting with the truth of our being. You see, we are divine. You are divine, you are divine now, always have been, always will be. You are never alone, you are a beacon of love, in fact, you are love incarnate. You are always everything that is, everything.

But the question is, do you sense, feel, acknowledge these deep truths about you?

If you do, you will never seek anything outside of yourself.
You will never feel lonely or as though you don’t belong.
You will never need healing.
You will always be complete and balanced.

And that’s just for starters. It’s time to activate your twin flame. Because your twin flame IS divine union. It is the divine feminine and divine masculine that you are, combined. Because we are all both.

And when you activate divine union at the core of your being, your soul, you BECOME your divine truth. You wake up to being the divine being you always were. You rock it.

Imagine going through life KNOWING you are divine. BEING your divine self.

To activate your twin flame requires an energetic activation process that I would LOVE to take you through on my TWIN FLAME ALCHEMY online workshop.

It takes place on FRIDAY 13th AUGUST at 3.30pm to 5.30pm British Summer Time.
It costs only £15

Not only will you ignite your twin flame but you will also receive a sacred soul initiation, integrating you with the full spectrum of your soul and entitling you to enrol on all future amenet drago : Soul Mastery workshops.

You will experience not one, but two energy chambers where you will meet your twin flame embodied as a person or persons and then manifest your twin flame into your life as a person who acts as a mirror for you and creates sacred, divine union with you, in the form of your choosing.

I can assure you, every one of my offerings is deep, profound, transformative and life changing. Go HERE to read what people have to say.

Honestly, are you crazy enough to say no to this?!?

Posted in death, love, oneness, transformation

Death is Love Teaching Us That We are One

We have such negative ideas about death in our culture.

And, of course, we don’t have to.

The truth is, humanity carries such a deep separation wound.

Separation from the divine,

From the Creator,

From each other,

From ourselves.

And so we fear death.

Because we only see separation

Where it does not exist.

And that can manifest as abandonment

Because we are here to learn and grow.

So, death comes into our lives to teach us.

Abandonment comes forward to teach us.

Rejection comes forward to teach us.

To teach us that we are love,

That we carry all we seek within ourselves.

We are always whole,

We are always divine,

We are always love.

We are never alone,

We are never separate from anything or anyone.

We are never abandoned,

We never were.

Death is here to show us

That we are so much more than our bodies

And we cannot lose anything or anyone

And if we look inside

We will see that there is nothing that is not us.

[Painting called ‘Homo Luminous: The Ascended Human’ by Ananda-Amenet Reid]

Posted in Inspiration, oneness, Personal Story

Opening Up to Oneness

In my meditations of late I’ve been asking for, from within my being, a state of deep peace.  A peace so deep that only love can live there.  Wouldn’t that be nice?  To be at peace in any given situation or circumstance, to only experience deep peace.  Aaahhhh!  Yes.  Nice.

It occurs to me, in achieving such a state I would be letting go of all struggle, all baggage, all challenge, maybe even the desire to achieve.  I would simply become. 

Have you ever met somebody, and in getting to know them you see yourself reflected in them?  You recognise yourself, your struggles, your loves, your journey, your habits, your choices?  Maybe even your temper, your wounds, your fears?  They tend to be the people we either instantly love or hate, because we see either the best or the worst of us staring in our face.  When we recognise ourselves in others, we are really recognising the divine source, the unifying factor that is us all.  The blending of all beings into a source. 

Upon the Earth, this is an experience of connection.  These are the ones with whom we make the deepest connection and we call them our soul family, our tribe.  Connecting with another is accepting them, supporting them.  To do that well, we must first accept ourself, support ourself.  This is the energy of oneness, and I think it is akin to what I was looking for in finding that state of deep peace. 

It is a state of openness, of allowing our energy, our love and light to flow, to receive and to give our light to and from others.  Not only other people but all energies upon the Earth, all living beings.  When that light and love is flowing in connection like that, we are in a state of oneness.

Oneness is the absence of separation, the absence of fear.  It is openness and connection without judgement, without conditions.  In oneness, we embrace ourselves fully and learn to accept the dark and the light in equal measure, with the same spirit of surrender.    

Oneness is like a kind of a community.  Have you ever been to an event or a place where you really felt you belonged, where you felt a part of everything and shared a deep connection with everyone who was with you there?  Maybe something incredible happened that you all witnessed together?  When you come away from an event like that and everyone separates, you really feel a sense of loss.  You lose that sense of being understood, without words, because you all shared the same deep understanding.  You know you can’t talk to anybody else about what happened there, they just wouldn’t get it.  We crave to be with those with whom we can feel and connect so deeply as that.  That is what oneness is like, and it can be there all the time and with everybody.

Where is that missing from my life?  Everywhere.  Almost everywhere, there are those with whom I have experienced this within my life but it’s not always easy to stay in that place.  Why?  Too many wounds, too much growth surges, too many challenges that bring ego to the fore and steal the stillness that this kind of experience requires.  It’s often the simple surface practicalities that cause a feeling of separation; distance, emotionally and physically.  Communication breakdowns. 

Mundane normality steals away the magic; bills, chores, tasks, problems, commitments.  Ego.  Ego is a big one, ego can really put a damper on connection and openness. And fear, they go hand in hand.  It’s often lack of confidence, of worthiness, we don’t settle into that sense of belonging because we fear what somebody else may think.  We don’t have the courage, and it really needs to be there deep, deep down, where we don’t tend to peer inside of us, not just surface courage.

Think of all those times when we push people away, when we disregard them, refuse help, feel we have to do this on our own.  The times when we convinced ourself that there is nobody who gets us, who understands, nobody who cares.  All the times we feel lonely.

We are living in a period of time when many of us have experienced loneliness with Covid and lockdowns.  Imagine rewriting that experience whist bringing in the energy of oneness, of unity and connection.  That energy starts within us, it is that place of deep peace within.  It is the confidence, the self-belief, the presence to surrender to our own beauty and that of every being around us. 

How can I ever feel lonely?  How can I entertain that idea, unless by choice?  If I feel loneliness, then I must be closing myself down. I live in a house with a loving husband.  We are separating but we still love each other deeply and he would never refuse me a hug if I needed one.  He wouldn’t even ask for a reason.  If he sees me struggling, he will offer to cook something for me or suggest that we go for a walk on the nearby beach together.  And I have two very affectionate cats, they are always up for cuddles and attention, they never say no either.  How could I diminish their value and importance?  Their unique kind of connection is the purest of all.  No judgements, no communication issues, no holds barred, they are totally committed to open connection with me at the drop of a hat. 

What am I doing, thinking that I’m lonely?  Discounting my loving husband and my two adorable cats?  I’m creating limitations and conditions, aren’t I?  As if they don’t count, are not what or who I’m craving connection with.  I could have a deep and open connection with the beings in my household in every moment and they would certainly value and appreciate my reaching out.  I really need to open myself up to oneness every day and remember that oneness doesn’t pick and choose, we are all the same.  What if we are all closing ourselves down inside and feeling alone whilst creating the belief that the ones we are with are not the ones we want or who want us?  What if we take a risk and reach out?  Only now matters.  We might surprise ourselves and them.  I suspect we will find that we are all craving support and acceptance from each other, to give and receive, we are all waiting to be invited and somebody has to make the first move.                 

Posted in channelled message, Twin Flame

Twin Flames

When I started my twin flame journey, it was difficult to find much information about twin flames, it was as if everybody was copying the same small content.  Most sources describe there being another person who is one’s twin flame and how much difficulty we can expect to experience in the twin flame relationship.

When I started researching, this is what I thought it was all about too, but something didn’t feel right. I felt that some people may feel desperate to find their perfect partner, their one true love, and maybe that could mean dependency, neediness, even vulnerability which didn’t sit right with the higher concept of the twin flame. I also noticed that there were people talking about how their twin flame relationship caused tremendous chaos in their life. Were they possibly just desperately in love with totally the wrong person, one who was triggering their deepest childhood traumas and wounds of rejection, loss or feeling unlovable? The more I looked into it, the more of a minefield it seemed. I needed to find my understanding from a different source. With guidance from the Inner Planes, I did, and can now offer a different kind of understanding of the twin flame.

The twin flame is an energy that exists within our soul and holds the divine feminine and divine masculine energy.  The twin flame energy is a mirror of ourselves, and when we connect with the twin flame within us, we recognise qualities that we haven’t seen in ourselves clearly yet.  Connecting with our twin flame ignites new awakenings and aligns us with our divine nature.  It opens us to our ascension process and this is a reason why so many of us feel called to connect to our twin flame energy now.  This is the purpose of the twin flame, to quicken our ascension and allow us to recognise energies within our being that we had not recognised before.

Opening up to our twin flame can initiate a powerful cleansing and healing process.  When we call on this energy that represents divine union, it allows us to delve deeper and deeper into our being, into our knowledge, wisdom, love, compassion and healing.  Our twin flame is always within us but needs to be activated.  As an aspect of our being, it can both exist within us and also in another physical being.  It is energy born within our soul which can manifest into a physical expression as a body, usually of the opposite gender to ourselves, but not exclusively so, since we are each both feminine and masculine energy.  When we integrate it into ourselves, we are awakening our truth into our being. 

When we reconnect with the twin flame energy within our being, we recognise the wholeness and completeness within our soul.  Our soul extends from our soul group and expands into twelve aspects.  In this lifetime and all the lifetimes that we have experienced as a consciousness, we have been one of the twelve aspects of our soul.  When integrated, we are all of our soul, all twelve aspects and every incarnation ever expressed by the entirety of our soul.  As an aspect of our soul, we are not complete until we merge with the eleven other aspects.  Then, we are our complete soul and within the energy of our complete soul, our twin flame exists. Since I underwent a soul integration in 2018, this explains why I’ve been feeling connected to my twin flame energy ever since, the integration process must have ‘switched’ it on.

I would thoroughly recommend having a soul integration, it’s something I feel passionately about because it is so life-changing in the best ways possible. It has changed my life and that is why I started to support others to integrate their souls. I have stopped focusing on this recently but feel called to return to the important process of healing and spiritual evolution through soul integration. I’m looking into ways to offer soul integration and twin flame support to many through this website and hope to tell you more about that in the near future. 

As we ignite our twin flame, we are igniting new wisdom, consciousness and new abilities of our soul.  This then flows forth into our lives making us stronger, more expansive, more able to deal with our reality, more sensitive spiritually.  It is a surge of light, an empowerment, it brings forward all that we need and require to assist our journey on the Earth, at this time.  Some of us are feeling lost and lonely on the Earth now but when we activate our twin flame energy, this loneliness can dissolve as we feel more connected to the source, more fulfilled and content. 

Activating the twin flame allows the soul to fully ground into our being which increases the love and compassion from our soul and the healing energy and radiance of our soul.  Activating our twin flame makes it easier to connect with others, with making soul connections on Earth, connecting with our guides and other spiritual energies.  If we desire to experience a romantic relationship or a spiritual companionship, activating our twin flame enables this too, should we choose it. It will ground and heal within our being all that is needed for such a relationship to exist and then draw the right person to us naturally.  If we are already in a relationship of this kind, activating the twin flame will enhance and bring new depths to our relationships.  It allows us to exist in a space where we give our truth, our essence, our soul to others, especially in romantic relationships.  When we activate our twin flame, we activate our divine self and are therefore supported and guided by the divine within our self.

I have selected my painting entitled ‘Homo Luminous: The Ascended Human’ to accompany this post, avoiding images of couples entwined, because the twin flame is about what we find inside ourselves and it’s a reminder of this. In this painting, an ascended, gender-vague figure stands in the light with the kundalini energy expressed in the form of a serpent, rising from root to crown. There is a personal elemental being of the Earth, representing our Earth nature, standing to the side and the divine child, representing our inner child and Cosmic nature, on the other side.

Posted in Inspiration, Personal Story

Going Through The Darkness

How bad can it get, the dark side?  How bad has it got for me?  How bad has it got for you?  How wounded are we?  How damaged do we feel? 

I and several others I know, to varying degrees, have been through the dark night of the soul.  That dark night might last years, which is a long time to believe you are losing it, that you have finally flipped and no longer have a grip in normality or sanity.  Days of lethargy, anxiety and dread, nights of despair, deep depression and profound aloneness.  Losing the ability to perceive truth from illusion, to know your own mind, to trust your instincts.  Losing perspective and one’s inner compass.  Losing stability, balance and grounding.  Losing hope, faith and love.  Arriving in a dark hole where the only thought you have is the deep desire to not live another day.  You wonder if it’s time to see a psychiatrist and take the drugs, if you haven’t already, you cleanse your home and all your possessions for fear you’ve been cursed.  And you pray, oh, how you pray, not realising your prayers were always being answered, even though, no, because nothing changed.  Yeah, it got bad enough. 

When I felt like that, day after day, I felt like a failure.  I believed I was worthless and that nobody could possibly love me.  But then, I couldn’t love myself.  I was supposed to be strong, to be spiritually evolved (huh) and I was supposed to be better than that (yeah, I know).  That’s in the past, but not that long ago and I write about it now because, if you are or ever have felt like this, I want you to know you are not the only one and it’s a lot more common than you would believe. 

And it does end, however bad, crazy, difficult it gets, it’s okay.  Don’t fight, just let it flow and be with it.  Hold space for it, as crazy as that may sound.  If you can, it will be over sooner and you will learn and heal faster.  I was slow on the uptake, I was a fighter, I made a lot of fuss and indulged in my suffering like a fool.  I always did take the long road.  I know better now, at least, I’ll find out the next time it comes around.  At the time, everything went out the window.  The darkness obscured it all.  I got involved you see, engaged with pity, fed my story and indulged my victim self.  I listened to my inner judge and fought like a wild animal when I should have lain down with it like a lamb, sat with it, invited it in, loved it as the teacher it was.

Now, I look back over that time and can see the lessons, I see the landscape I walked through and how I was finally unburdened by my journey through darkness.  Now I know every moment was a gift, truly. I called for it, I asked for the fast-track to my spiritual evolution and got it.  Now, I can say I love myself and finally, I no longer give myself away. Now, I will meet you in a space called love and share my light, my energy, but it won’t deplete me because I am whole and there is nothing I need that I can’t find inside of me.