Posted in Energy healing, Personal Story

On The Golden Road

Today, I am coming forward with a huge amount of love and gratitude towards myself, towards all the little versions of me I ever was, what they went through and how amazing they are. This is for me being me and for my journey. 

I’ve been on a healing journey for most of my adult life and a couple of months ago, it got hugely real and very empowered when I invited a very special person into my life to help me. Now, me being me is a whole new ball game and I could never begin to describe to you the many ways this is so.

The changes are many, they are unfolding and profound. I’m moving away from a fierce need to exert my individuality as something important, a need that I know has made me appear arrogant or aggressive. I’ve done that throughout the years as part of my inner child’s fight against not feeling seen or valued.

But I’m now letting that go for humble because I no longer feel like I need to fight for myself. When I fought for myself, I was not in alignment, not coming from a place of authenticity, it was fear expressing itself. It was wound and trauma expressing itself and it never felt right. I just didn’t know how else to be.

To finally find the peace to be me is more than wonderful, it’s a gift, a divine gift that I can now fully embrace. It means I breathe out and feel myself sink into the peace of letting go of the fight.

I don’t have to prove myself, I don’t have to convince anyone of anything or fear what anybody might say or how they might judge who or what I am. That’s been my whole life, fear of judgement, of being criticised as a moment-to-moment experience. To feel that it’s not happening or not important anymore, or just not there anymore, is peace and freedom.

Peace and freedom to love myself and others, to love everybody. It’s okay and it’s safe now. It’s all possible. From this place, in letting go of that tiring fight, which felt like the fight to survive, in relaxing into acceptance, peace, love, gratitude and forgiveness, I am proud of myself and can truly say that I love myself, I love what I am, who I am, and in seeing my shadow self, the not so attractive qualities that we all have to some degree, I love them too. I love all of me.

This journey isn’t about the past anymore, it’s about where I am now and who I am now. Here I am, a sixty year old woman, making her healing journey the priority and the journey is really empowering me.

Where I am now feels like a turning point. I have a vision of a golden road that just goes straight out in front of me, clear of obstacles and with a beautiful golden glow about it. I see myself walking down that road hand in hand with my little three year old self and all my healed inner children are walking with us, there’s quite a crowd of us now.

We’re on that road together. We’re marching forward together, and boy, what a mighty force of love we are.

I’m actively embodying self love into every moment of my days, in the way that I live, that I go through a day, the way I make food and eat, that I choose activities and interact with others. Embracing every task, making acts of self love and self care the foundation of my wellbeing.

Every time I choose something that doesn’t fulfil my being, it’s an act of self destruction at some level or other. The influence of my energetic self on my health and wellbeing is undeniable. I am stepping up to appreciate the richness that’s in every moment.

What is home for me? What’s my soul here for? What does it look like? Is it who I am, what I’m doing, where I’m living? And what am I calling forward? How am I manifesting and creating in my existence, my being and life? Because it’s from there that I express my soul purpose.

It means not hiding anymore but expressing my truth through my clear and true voice. It means being connected with other human beings in an easy, natural, loving, supportive and sacred manner.

And all this I manifest. I manifest everything very specifically, clearly knowing that I’m creating home for this soul in this personality at this time, in this physical manifestation upon the Earth.

And then it came. First, I received clarity about my divine plan. Then, along with others, I received an update that aligned my being to a higher dimensional vibration. I realised that as we receive this shift, as many have and more will, it’s important we realise that we still need to step up for ourselves and remain true to our power every day. To stay empowered through our inner peace, love and truth. To trust ourselves, believe in ourselves and hold that conviction steady. It’s down to us to remain in the higher vibration in every moment. It’s a moment to moment choice, not a given. The shift comes when we are ready to step up to that level of clarity and mastery.

All this places me exactly where I’m meant to be in the flow. That’s where I am, in the right place in the flow. When it’s right, it’s easy, that’s what flow means.

So, when the journey’s still difficult, there are obstacles, problems or physical conditions present and I know what that’s like. That’s been my journey for years, especially during the last six years. It means that healing is calling for our attention.

Posted in Inspiration, love

Love Is Not Nice

I am not nice

I am love

Love is not nice

Love is love.

What is ‘nice’, anyway?

Nice is a word that needs to be quantified

It’s a judgy word.

Love doesn’t need to be quantified

It stands alone,

There really is only love.

Love is our natural state.

Being nice is one of fear’s many manifestations,

The fear of being judged

As not good enough,

Not worthy enough.

That’s what drives us towards being nice.

So, I’m giving up nice and focusing on

Just being love.

[Image: ‘Angel Wings Explosion’ art by Amenet Drago]

Posted in Ascension, Personal Story, transformation

Emergence Four – Awake!

Just look at my lady’s slipper orchid, two flowers in full bloom. It’s now May and yet, the first flower opened in December, around Christmas! Isn’t that remarkable? Every year previously they have flowered for three months, but this year they surpassed themselves.

There’s a real emergence going on for me right now too.

My journey has been feeling like a birth process that finally reached the last push. Years of difficult labour are past and the waters broke already so now I’m ready for what’s about to be born.

My life, particularly a childhood of trauma is being transmogrified into something beautiful and incredible, something made of the most potent rose pink love. And it’s who I am, not a woman called Ananda, but who I really am beyond names.

I woke up this morning and there it was. All the answers I’ve been waiting for over the years. Clear as crystal. There, in my head before I opened my eyes, my soul destiny.

I know what I’m waiting for. I know what to do and not do, who I am and who I’m not. I know my soul purpose and how to express it. And I can see why I wasn’t ready to know until I got to this point.

I did the healing and now it’s time to fulfil my soul purpose for the new Earth ascension.

Now it’s time to get busy, I’ve got things to do, places to go, people to see. I’m making things happen and know they’re just going to flow, as long as I stay on track, because the Universe wants this too.

Everything that was already there, tantalising me as half the story, it’s coming into full focus.  Everything is blossoming.  My soul baby has been born and now she’s going to grow.

I did the healing and now I’m ready, it’s time.

What’s emerging for you, right now?

How do you feel about it?

How is your understanding of self changing?

[Image: ‘Lady’s Slipper Orchid, two blooms flowering’ photograph by Amenet Drago]

Posted in darkness and light, Inspiration

Imperfect Is The New Perfect

Get comfortable with what’s not perfect,

Allow what’s imperfect in your life, imperfect in you.

These are precious gifts.

They bring treasures as well as pain.

Pain and suffering are so valuable.

When you experience and allow pain

You create space for the joy you’ve been missing.

Your imperfect is beautiful,

Let imperfect be your perfect.

[Image: ‘The Green Goblin’ art by Amenet Drago]

Posted in darkness and light, healing, Inspiration

Making Pearls From Grit

“When you create yourself, at some point you’re going to have to either let that creation go and take a chance on being loved or hated for who you really are, or you’re going to have to kill who you really are and fall into your grave grasping onto a character that you never were.

What is the grit that the pearl is built around? The pearl is the personality that you build around yourself as a protection against the thought, “If they ever find out that I’m worthless, if they ever find out that I’m not enough, I’ll be destroyed.”

The avatar you create and the cadence you come up with that’s pleasing to people, it takes them away from their issues and makes you popular, and then at some point you have to peel it away. It’s not who you are.

This is what everybody goes through when they create themselves to be popular or successful. You act a certain way and say a certain thing and lie through your teeth at times, and you do whatever you need to do to look like a winner.

And then at some point in your life you have to say, “I don’t care what it looks like. I found the hole in the psyche and I’m going through and I’m going to face the abyss of not knowing whether that’s going to be okay with everybody or not.”

At some point, they’re going to try to drown you in the middle of that abyss. But no, be the other guy. You told us you were this guy, the character you built, but no one can live with that forever.

People sometimes exist so completely in their character, they maybe don’t know how to get out of it or how to take another road. So, they might take the ultimate road, where they actually have to leave the planet to get out.

All we really yearn for is our own absence. We yearn for what happens at death.

I don’t have to worry about that anymore. I truly feel like if you ask me where I live right now, where the real me is, I would say that there’s a quiet, gentle seat in the universe that seems to contain everything and that’s where I am.

I don’t want anything. I have no ambition. I don’t have to go anywhere. That’s fascinating to me now….. the disappearing.”

– words by Jim Carrey (from the film ‘Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond’)

[Image: ‘Pearl With A Shell Inside’ art by Amenet Drago]

Posted in Ascension, Energy healing

Singing Yourself Back Home

Although a certain amount of clarity can be perceived through the fog of life, there is always yet more awareness and understanding to come, when what was lost is found. What is lost is your truth, freedom and power, that which was stolen from you.

And now it is time to call those energies back. Keep calling the energies that belong to you home. Keep demanding that they are released by those who took them. It is time. It is time to call yourself home, to finally be complete and healed.

You have been waiting and this is now possible. When you have re-integrated all your missing energies that were lost and stolen, then, the full extent of your soul purpose will be seen, like a sun that emerges from behind a dark cloud.

And it will be magnificent. It will truly be blessed. You will herald it as a marvel. And there will be so much love and support available to you from every side. Then, you will become the fulfilment that is your soul’s destiny.

Right now, your greatest need is to sing yourself back home.

(Here is a LINK to a free resource from Jen Peters that guides you through calling your dissociated energy back home)

[Image: ‘Mother Wound (close up)’ painting by Amenet Drago]

Posted in Inspiration, sovereignty, The Truth of our Being

I’m Not Enough!

‘Enough’ is a word I struggle with:

“I’m not enough.”

“I’m not good enough.”

And don’t even try to tell me, “You are enough.”

No, it’s not working for me.

‘Enough’ is a word of limitations.

Enough of what?

It needs to be quantified to work as a word.

There ARE no limitations anymore,

They’re all blown out the water.

We are existing at a limitless time,

So ‘enough’ doesn’t cut it anymore.

Not even ‘more than enough’ cuts it.

We are nothing short of MAGNIFICENT!

[Image: ‘Curious Goose At Llanelli Wetlands Centre, Carmarthenshire’ photograph by Amenet Drago]

Posted in healing, inner child

Möbius Loop

Have you ever wondered how it is that the person in the family that had the hardest time often ends up the most insightful, healed and spiritually aware?

It’s true for myself and several people I know, both in my wider family and outside of it, but not always so.

I think, in the end, it’s down to us. We are given adversities for a reason, they are teachers and they will fast-track us to greater fulfilment if we let them. Or maybe we’ll fall apart, or remain asleep.

I was meditating today, sending love and talking with my healed and integrated inner children.

I received understanding that I was sending loving energy to each child in the past.

Which means I was sending loving energy to myself as a child at all the most traumatic times.

I was even loving and supporting myself as a foetus in the womb, waiting to be born.

And myself as a sixty year old was present energetically at my own birth, waiting to hold my newborn self, greeting her and wrapping her up in unconditional love.

As an experience, that’s truly amazing, so precious and magical, and it’s thanks to Jen Peters’ masterful skills as a multidimensional healer and inner child guide that I get to experience it.

It’s no surprise, therefore, that I managed to survive as a child, even though I couldn’t see anybody there for me at the time.

I often felt alone and yet found resilience and strength inside, without which I don’t think I would have survived.

All the time, I was giving strength and love to my child selves from my future selves.

There’s no past, present and future, in reality, time is an illusion, it’s all happening at once.

Who you become in the future is who you always were.

Trust and believe in yourself, your best self is waiting for your invitation to step forward now.

You really are far more incredible than you might imagine.

[Image: ‘The Spark At The Heart Of Your Heart Is Timeless’ art by Amenet Drago]

Posted in darkness and light, Inspiration

The Gifted

There are two sides to the same coin,

And just the same, we may have two sides

Because of the gift we bear.

When we have a gift,

We contend with what it costs to have that gift.

And it’s hard to say what that cost will be.

The gift could be anything, any talent, ability or skill,

And it often comes from darkness

For, it is our earliest adversities that give birth to our greatest gifts.

The cost of that gift is the darkness that comes with it.

And if the darkness eats us up,

If we’re holding anger within us because of adversities from the past,

Be aware of the anger you hold inside.

Anger is a potent spice,

A pinch wakes us up, too much dulls our senses.

Anger is our fighter self who keeps us moving forward

But also, it paralyses.

Our strength came from darkness,

Our hope is in darkness.

We are light and dark, we are all of it.

As long as we accept it as so,

We will not be consumed.

(Words inspired by ‘The Queen’s Gambit’)

[Image: ‘Sparks In The Dark’ art by Amenet Drago]

Posted in Energy healing, Inspiration

Surge

Have you ever noticed the surge? The surge is like a tidal wave. It’s a powerful and sudden swell of energy that pushes what needs to happen forward. It could be anything. It could be healing. It could be love. It could be creativity.

All of a sudden, the lull is over and you are really moving, gathering speed. 

Be prepared, be awake.  Your senses must be alert at all times, even when you are dallying with the mundane.  The surge can arrive at any moment and then you will riding on the crest of a wave. 

[Image: ‘Waiting for the wave, Llangrannog, Ceredigion, Wales’ photograph by Amenet Drago]