Parenting is such an important and honourable role, it can become a little overwhelming at times. Here are some fundamental reminders about raising apprentice adults (children):
Give your apprentice adults space to explore themselves, the world and others, trust them.
Provide boundaries that gently enclose them in love whilst allowing them room to breathe.
Good boundaries are a balance between trust and nurture.
What is the purpose of each boundary you set, is it coming from your fear? Is it coming from your love?
Uphold your loving boundaries consistently and calmly.
Encourage creativity, free thinking, inventiveness, imagination, individuality and don’t put out their spark.
Allow your apprentices to have a true, clear voice. Really see them for who they are and validate them for being true to themselves, by letting them know you hear them and see them.
Let your little ones know they are loved without conditions.
Accept they are not you.
Accept that your job is to prepare your children for the world and then to let them go so they can explore it.
Remember, you don’t own them, they owe you nothing, you cannot live through them, you are here to guide them to be their best selves as they learn to step out into the world on their own.
Try not to label them as ‘clever’ or ‘pretty’ or such, because you may be setting standards they feel a need to live up to, and that might create a pressure for them that’s difficult to manage.
Instead, compliment individual accomplishments and behaviours in the moment, with sincerity. Celebrate all the little victories and achievements with them.
Don’t be fearful of the world yourself, or let them see your “what if…?” fears for them, or they will carry those fears with them, which will be crippling.
You are here to model unconditional love, respect, integrity, gratitude, trust and honesty.
Even though they are children and you are an adult, you are each souls of equal worth. Your children will have gifts and learning for you, allow them to teach you.
Even your mistakes are necessary and important for them to witness, because they need to know we are all human and that’s as it should be.
Be patient when they make mistakes, remember all the mistakes you made.
When they mess up, remind them who they really are.
If you get angry, take a pause. It only takes a few seconds to say something that could take years to heal.
As a parent, you won’t be perfect or necessarily healed of all your emotional wounds. That’s okay, show your children that you are okay with not being perfect and are stepping up to yourself, because you love and respect yourself enough to do so. This learning is the single best gift you can give.
Don’t forget to have lots of fun, laughter and play together. Enjoy each other 💖
Give yourself a big pat on the back because in being a parent, you’re doing the most incredible and important job in the world, with no manual, and you’re truly amazing.
(Image: “Working Myself Out” by Amenet Drago)