Posted in inner child

Loving Our Inner Children

Adults of any age, twenty, forty, even ninety, can act like children sometimes.

And I don’t mean in a fun and carefree way, I mean when we’re upset.

We go back to that childhood feeling of vulnerability when we had much less resources to call on in dealing with emotional upsets.

We act like children when one of our inner children is activated.

Maybe we’re petulant, maybe we don’t listen, we shout or scream, we get tongue-tied and can’t express ourselves. Maybe we lash out, blame others, cover up and say things we’re going to regret.

We’re far from our clear thinking adult self at those times and that’s because we’re feeling hurt and back in that feeling from our childhood.

We don’t have one inner child, we have one for each wound or trauma experienced.

Most of us will have many wounded inner children, each carrying a belief such as “I’m not worthy; I’m not lovable; people can’t be trusted.”

Every time something happens to trigger one of those beliefs, the little child who suffered the original wound and created that belief comes to the surface.

Then, when we’re hurt and emotional, it’s easy to find ourselves acting like a hurt child again at such a time.

And if someone in your life is acting that way from time to time, that’s probably why.

Give them a break and give yourself a break, we all do it, unless we heal those inner children and relieve them of the burdens they are desperately trying to address.

To heal, we go within, find our inner child.

Listen to our child, really hear our child.

Acknowledge, validate, love and embrace that child,

Then, we heal and integrate our inner child into our heart space, finally letting go of what was never our burden to carry. And that’s such a beautiful thing to do.

[Image: ‘Surma Tribe Mother With Baby’ photograph by Francisco Mendoza Ruiz courtesy of Fine Art America]

Posted in darkness and light, healing, Inspiration

Making Pearls From Grit

“When you create yourself, at some point you’re going to have to either let that creation go and take a chance on being loved or hated for who you really are, or you’re going to have to kill who you really are and fall into your grave grasping onto a character that you never were.

What is the grit that the pearl is built around? The pearl is the personality that you build around yourself as a protection against the thought, “If they ever find out that I’m worthless, if they ever find out that I’m not enough, I’ll be destroyed.”

The avatar you create and the cadence you come up with that’s pleasing to people, it takes them away from their issues and makes you popular, and then at some point you have to peel it away. It’s not who you are.

This is what everybody goes through when they create themselves to be popular or successful. You act a certain way and say a certain thing and lie through your teeth at times, and you do whatever you need to do to look like a winner.

And then at some point in your life you have to say, “I don’t care what it looks like. I found the hole in the psyche and I’m going through and I’m going to face the abyss of not knowing whether that’s going to be okay with everybody or not.”

At some point, they’re going to try to drown you in the middle of that abyss. But no, be the other guy. You told us you were this guy, the character you built, but no one can live with that forever.

People sometimes exist so completely in their character, they maybe don’t know how to get out of it or how to take another road. So, they might take the ultimate road, where they actually have to leave the planet to get out.

All we really yearn for is our own absence. We yearn for what happens at death.

I don’t have to worry about that anymore. I truly feel like if you ask me where I live right now, where the real me is, I would say that there’s a quiet, gentle seat in the universe that seems to contain everything and that’s where I am.

I don’t want anything. I have no ambition. I don’t have to go anywhere. That’s fascinating to me now….. the disappearing.”

– words by Jim Carrey (from the film ‘Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond’)

[Image: ‘Pearl With A Shell Inside’ art by Amenet Drago]

Posted in Ascension, Energy healing

Singing Yourself Back Home

Although a certain amount of clarity can be perceived through the fog of life, there is always yet more awareness and understanding to come, when what was lost is found. What is lost is your truth, freedom and power, that which was stolen from you.

And now it is time to call those energies back. Keep calling the energies that belong to you home. Keep demanding that they are released by those who took them. It is time. It is time to call yourself home, to finally be complete and healed.

You have been waiting and this is now possible. When you have re-integrated all your missing energies that were lost and stolen, then, the full extent of your soul purpose will be seen, like a sun that emerges from behind a dark cloud.

And it will be magnificent. It will truly be blessed. You will herald it as a marvel. And there will be so much love and support available to you from every side. Then, you will become the fulfilment that is your soul’s destiny.

Right now, your greatest need is to sing yourself back home.

(Here is a LINK to a free resource from Jen Peters that guides you through calling your dissociated energy back home)

[Image: ‘Mother Wound (close up)’ painting by Amenet Drago]

Posted in healing, inner child

Möbius Loop

Have you ever wondered how it is that the person in the family that had the hardest time often ends up the most insightful, healed and spiritually aware?

It’s true for myself and several people I know, both in my wider family and outside of it, but not always so.

I think, in the end, it’s down to us. We are given adversities for a reason, they are teachers and they will fast-track us to greater fulfilment if we let them. Or maybe we’ll fall apart, or remain asleep.

I was meditating today, sending love and talking with my healed and integrated inner children.

I received understanding that I was sending loving energy to each child in the past.

Which means I was sending loving energy to myself as a child at all the most traumatic times.

I was even loving and supporting myself as a foetus in the womb, waiting to be born.

And myself as a sixty year old was present energetically at my own birth, waiting to hold my newborn self, greeting her and wrapping her up in unconditional love.

As an experience, that’s truly amazing, so precious and magical, and it’s thanks to Jen Peters’ masterful skills as a multidimensional healer and inner child guide that I get to experience it.

It’s no surprise, therefore, that I managed to survive as a child, even though I couldn’t see anybody there for me at the time.

I often felt alone and yet found resilience and strength inside, without which I don’t think I would have survived.

All the time, I was giving strength and love to my child selves from my future selves.

There’s no past, present and future, in reality, time is an illusion, it’s all happening at once.

Who you become in the future is who you always were.

Trust and believe in yourself, your best self is waiting for your invitation to step forward now.

You really are far more incredible than you might imagine.

[Image: ‘The Spark At The Heart Of Your Heart Is Timeless’ art by Amenet Drago]

Posted in darkness and light, Inspiration

The Gifted

There are two sides to the same coin,

And just the same, we may have two sides

Because of the gift we bear.

When we have a gift,

We contend with what it costs to have that gift.

And it’s hard to say what that cost will be.

The gift could be anything, any talent, ability or skill,

And it often comes from darkness

For, it is our earliest adversities that give birth to our greatest gifts.

The cost of that gift is the darkness that comes with it.

And if the darkness eats us up,

If we’re holding anger within us because of adversities from the past,

Be aware of the anger you hold inside.

Anger is a potent spice,

A pinch wakes us up, too much dulls our senses.

Anger is our fighter self who keeps us moving forward

But also, it paralyses.

Our strength came from darkness,

Our hope is in darkness.

We are light and dark, we are all of it.

As long as we accept it as so,

We will not be consumed.

(Words inspired by ‘The Queen’s Gambit’)

[Image: ‘Sparks In The Dark’ art by Amenet Drago]

Posted in Andromedans, healing, inner child, love, Personal Story

The Time is Right for Healing

Last night, I had the most amazing experience.  It was my second session with Multidimensional Healer Jen Peters.

In the first session, we spent 2 hours healing and integrating my deeply wounded inner children that were holding the trauma of chronic loneliness.  It left me feeling incredibly sleepy over the coming week as I synthesised the healing and adjusted to the trauma being dissolved from my being. 

Last night, we went back to the beginning of my life and worked with myself as a 5 month old foetus in the womb.  There were such a lot of traumatic energies that I was picking up from my birth mother, who was still a child herself at the time.  My little being was swimming in a soup of her shame, anger and despair.

But then, I also picked up a positive energy in the periphery, something that was supporting my foetal self. I didn’t know what it was, it just presented as a soft blue light.

As Jen asked me questions, I just seemed to know the answers and together, we found out so much.  We realised that my little being in the womb was wise and insightful, she had a strong soul connection and knew that this was the life she was coming down for.  She knew already that she was heading for my adoptive mother, not my womb mother.  I discovered that my soul was able to leave and return to this little one at will, which enabled a break from the dense and dissonant energies.  I discovered what a shock it was for the little one, for she had come from a place where there was only love and suddenly found herself in this harsh reality in the womb.  She sensed no love at all here, she was starving for it.  Her mother wasn’t feeling love for herself or the baby growing inside her, only hate and trauma.

Jen sensed something I have felt and been told from the inner planes for some time, that my soul is here to learn everything about love, even through understanding the lack of it.  My soul has been on that journey for many lifetimes.

As we were working together, I suddenly perceived that there was a circle of light beings surrounding myself and my womb baby and they were beaming out love. And I knew without doubt, they were my soul group and they were Andromedans.

Jen asked if they were always my soul connection or if they were beings I had been learning with. They said they were the seed and origin of my soul, but there were beings from Venus and the name Hather came up, these also have a strong connection with my soul, especially during previous lives spent in Ancient Egypt, and they were supporting my soul. Jen knew of the Hathors having a strong link with the divine mother and divine feminine energy. This made sense if they are connected to Hathor and Isis, they hold the Goddess energies. It might explain why I have a strong affinity with the divine feminine energy in this life, often making it the focus of my paintings.

The light and strength that the Andromedans flooded out towards my foetal self has always been present in my life, they told me they have always been there, even at the times when I felt completely alone. They have been the foundation of my eventual empowerment. They wanted me to know they are always with me and the love they feel for me is beyond description. Every time they told me this, tears started falling and sobs followed as I felt into the knowing that I had always been loved, after all. And not a love with limitations, an expansive, total love that my human being self can hardly fathom.

My soul group told me that my healing journey is currently the most important thing in my life. It’s preparing me for my life purpose, but they wouldn’t reveal what that purpose is yet. Jen and I got glimpses, that I am integrating the energy of divine union, getting to the core of oneness with love. This is my healing and task, to experience divine union with myself first and then… who knows?

During the session, my soul group also gave me information for healing my migraine aura symptoms. They implied that the condition was, in part, the result of receiving vibrations and frequencies that were necessary for me to receive. But now, by using sound through voice accompanied with movements, I am able to shift the energy. The vocalisation is spontaneous and is to be allowed to express freely, the movement will free up energy around my sacral and root chakras if I focus on the hips. The movement will also create vortexes alongside the sound which will reprogramme my energy. It was made clear that I didn’t need to understand this intellectually, just allow it to happen. My soul group said that when I do this, they will be with me, surrounding and supporting me, holding me with their energy. This is now a daily practice.

My healing is the one thing in my life that I need to focus on right now. If I focus on this, then everything else will naturally come into alignment too. I am beyond delighted that I invited Jen to be my multidimensional soul guide and healer. I have been fairly capable at navigating through the inner planes and receiving guidance, but together, we are creating such a powerful connection and she is the validator and mentor I needed.

Posted in healing, love, Personal Story

Acts Of Self Love

A few weeks ago, I started to consciously consider what was happening on a daily basis, in terms of loving and nurturing myself.

I was going through a difficult period, away from the peaceful solitude of my beloved sanctuary, my home, in an environment that was challenging every day, where making compromises was necessary in each moment.

A month long task of love and support for someone at the centre of my life was called for, someone whose own life seemed to be falling apart to them.

They were understandably scared and unable to appreciate the value of my presence or kindly intentions because of their health, anxiety and personality. Things were not running smoothly between us and we were both struggling.

I needed to look after myself as I looked after them but was too tired and too busy.

It took effort to structure some acts of self love instead of simply pouring myself into practical tasks for my charge. I made changes that slowed down my day and set me up for it much better. Initially, things changed.

It changed the atmosphere in the house and both our attitudes lightened. We began to be constructive, considering little ways to brighten the day and we related to each other with more harmony.

It didn’t last for more than a day or two because we were in such a difficult and challenging situation. The darkness still had plenty of gifts to bring and is still bringing them, but it brought a reprieve for a while, a refresh that could be repeated.

More importantly, it helped me remember something important, that when someone behaves badly towards us, there might very well be a scared and wounded child hiding inside that person, no matter how old they are.

Such circumstances are best met with gentleness and understanding, if possible, even when the natural impulse is to treat them as the enemy, which is reasonable when we’re under attack. I do know just how hard a thing that can be to do.

Especially when it’s a parent who was supposed to be the one to love us. Sometimes, that’s something that parents never learn how to do and it’s a big lesson for us to be the receiver of such a realisation.

When I look at myself now, I am proud of how I’ve navigated such a journey. I’m learning to be the bigger person.

When someone treats us poorly, we can always choose to be the bigger person by not answering their aggression with our own. And this is as true for nations as it is for personal relationships.

[Image: ‘Brilliance’ art by Amenet Drago]

Posted in darkness and light, Energy healing, Ukraine, war

Compassion At The Heart Of Our Connection

Of late, you may have noticed I’ve cut my posts down to two a week. However, I’m feeling drawn to make additional posts at the moment, in order to share developments and insights coming through during my energy healing for the crisis in Ukraine.

I continue to be blown away by an awareness of many beings who are energetically present over Ukraine, they are sending so much healing and protective energy to the people and the land. There are many beings there from the inner planes and many who are living on Earth, visiting in their meditations, people like you and me. Perhaps you are amongst them.

As I’ve said before, in addition to sending energies to Ukraine, I also focus on sending healing energies to the Russian President. I am immersing him in the violet flame ray of transformation and bathing him in the soft pink light of unconditional love. Then, I’m placing drops of golden liquid light into his crown chakra to bring in the energy of divinity. Finally, I’m placing a rainbow crystal into his energy field. This crystal looks like a regular quartz crystal except it’s blue in colour and it directs rainbow light that carries codes and templates specific to his needs into his being.

As I was doing this tonight, I sensed that the two energies most in need of dissolving within his being are anger and a deep, almost hidden feeling of unworthiness.

So, it is the energies of inner peace to quell the anger alongside divinity and unconditional love bringing him to worthiness that he needs to receive the most.

This will help counteract the patterns and triggers he expresses as aggression and a sense of entitlement, which are displayed in his actions.

I know it may feel like going against the grain to make him the focus of healing but I feel this is a critical part of the overall solution.

If we energetically match his anger by directing our anger towards him, we are only increasing anger. If we feel hatred for him and direct that, we are fuelling his arrogant and haughty behaviours and attitude.

It’s only natural to feel anger and dislike for someone who behaves like him, but what are we trying to achieve here and how do we become the bigger person?

If he, or anyone else, provokes those feelings in us, we do have the power to choose differently by invoking our higher self rather than our egoic nature.

By all means, feel angry, express that anger. Feel hatred, frustration, fury, despair and deep, deep sadness at what’s going on. Let it flow, let it out, don’t block whatever emotions want to emerge, and don’t feel bad for having them. But don’t stay there. Move on, and when you do, when you embody compassion and love, then you are ready to direct your healing energies where they are needed.

We are living at a time when humanity has the opportunity and power to come together in oneness, with compassion and unconditional love at the heart of our connection. It is this possibility that we are here to actualise.

[Image: ‘Light And Dark Clouds At Sunset, Seen From My House’ photograph by Amenet Drago]

Posted in darkness and light, inner child, Personal Story

Fire From Within

The other day, things got a little fiery. I was in conversation with someone who knows me well and who I love greatly when things started to get out of hand. At first, I was calm and patient but when I felt we were going around in circles and I wasn’t feeling heard, I got fierce.

Two days later, we had a conversation about it when it was said to me; “Because you do so much spiritual work, I was surprised to see all that anger in you!”

You and me both. I had to take a look at it myself.

I remember, a long time ago, someone asked me why I hold myself back and I said, “Because if I were to let go, people will get annihilated.” I really felt the rage that existed inside me but didn’t have the capacity to understand or release it at the time. It was going to have to come out at some point.

It seems I’m learning to let it go.

When we’re on the spiritual journey, there comes a time when we finally learn to embrace our love for ourselves and then we no longer tolerate what we used to accept from others. And that’s when things can get empowering.

I’ve always known that kind of power is inside me.

Like Kali, Cailleach and Ceredwen, I am fierce and capable of delivering a fatal blow to your ego. I can unleash fury like a lioness, strike like a cobra with my cutting words.

I embody the Crone, I am a cracking whip that stings but the sting won’t linger. The more I love you, the more I will honour you with my fire.

Don’t get me wrong, 99.9% of the time, I’m kind, caring, easy going and tolerant. But lately, the deeper I go inside and the more I make space for myself, the less will I tolerate and the fiercer I am.

For some years now, I’ve been healing many traumatised, abandoned, rejected and lonely inner children of mine. I’ve been searching for them, embracing them, acknowledging and loving them, healing and integrating them back into my being, into my heart, into my whole self. Those beautiful children have suffered so much. And some are angry.

Each integrated inner child has my permission to express the entirety of their true selves through me, all the qualities that I once embodied but were knocked out of me. They brought back to life the feisty, sparky firecracker I used to be, now expressed as a grown up who’s ready to claim the full extent of her power.

No filter, no regulating dial, just full-on, absolute brutal honesty. Yes, it’s true, I’m not for everybody. And these days, I come with a warning.

Posted in death, love, Soul Mastery, transformation

Journey Beyond the Veil

Have you ever been present at the moment someone died?

In my experience, the energy often begins to change before the moment of the soul passing on. It begins from the moment the personality and soul align their acceptance of the transition.

In sudden death situations, everything may seem to be happening quite fast from the outside, but to the person dying, it all really does slow right down and every moment is experienced in full presence, so the moment that inevitability is grasped by the personality, they are aligned with the soul who already knew the event was about to happen, because the event couldn’t have happened without the soul calling it in.

It’s not one’s life that flashes across ones eyes at such a moment but a profound in-the-moment knowing of truth. A peace and stillness, even in the face of chaos and great trauma. The consciousness is already detached, even before the body can be declared dead.

By the bedside of a dying loved one, you can sense a profound change in the atmosphere of the room from the moment your loved one comes to a place of peace with their imminent passing. Some time before they finally take their last breath, loved ones in spirit and one or more angels may well be present in the room. Perhaps their soul family will be there, sometimes, even an archangel.

If you are still and allow your breathing to slow, you might sense these presences and if you do, it will feel so peaceful and loving in that room. For us, the trick is to let go of the fear of death and loss so we can be fully present with the consciousness and soul of the person who is transitioning.

And when that last breath is taken, the one who is passing will already be above you. They may be greeting a beloved who is waiting for them on the other side, already wrapped in their arms. They are experiencing the most incredible moment imaginable, a moment of transition and their attention is turned away from their earthly existence as they contemplate a new understanding, that they are a light being and they have come home to their truth.

Already, all their ills have left them, they are free from all health-related restrictions, free from pain, suffering and danger. They are embraced in love and peace. It’s such a powerful moment, like a nuclear bomb of love, peace and truth has just exploded in that place. If you are still and if you can atune to your inner peace, you will feel it.

When your loved one has breathed their last, they are, in that moment, grounding all that beautiful energy into the Earth for you and everyone else. Their love for you is magnified by the realisation of their transition, for they experience a huge surge of energy in that moment that elevates their entire being to a much higher vibration. Which means their wisdom, understanding, love and compassion is profoundly increased.

Don’t panic at such a time, don’t start over-thinking about what it all means, just be there with them. It’s such an honour and a privilege. Wouldn’t you want that, when your time comes? Someone to be with you who can calmly hold the space for you? Your love and presence is all it takes to support them on their journey beyond the veil.

[Image: ‘Together As The Light Expanded’ art by Amenet Drago]