Posted in Energy healing, inner child, Personal Story

Get Out of Your Head!

One of the most powerful lessons that has felt transformational for me in the past year or so is getting out of my own head.

For years, this was a huge bug-bear for me, I was always getting in my own way, over-thinking, messing with my own head. And for most of that time I didn’t realise it. Then, when I did, it was like witnessing a car crash, I could see it happening but seemed powerless to change course.

Recently, I realised I don’t do it much anymore and have to stop a moment and wonder, “When did that happen? How did that happen?!”

And, to be honest, I’m not sure what the answer is. I just don’t need to over-think or over-analyse my conditions and emotions anymore and if I start, I notice and say to myself, “Not going down that road, let’s just stop right there,” and in the next moment I’m reminding myself of better ways to see things, which brings me back to balance.

For me, staying out of my head is synonymous with remaining balanced and centred in myself. Maybe that’s what changed, I found my centre and just stopped doing it. I have to cite positive self-talk as my natural go-to when it starts up though, literally being my own unconditional best friend and putting myself back on track asap.

When I feel into it, I see that the kind of situations where this happened the most were the same ones that came into my life to show me how much inner child healing I needed to do. Well, I have done so much inner child healing now that a great deal has changed for me and perhaps, very likely, this is one of those changes too.

Inner child healing is like magic, it’s one of the simple techniques that gives me an instant, noticeable result. I do a twenty minute healing journey and, hey presto, the next time a trigger situation materialises, I’m not triggered, I’m not behaving, thinking, feeling from my hurt inner child, because that inner child has been healed and integrated into my being. That said, I have found that I have a lot of those healings to do because I carry a lot of lost, hurt and stuck inner children, all capable of being triggered again and again until they’re found, healed and brought to a state of wholeness in my heart. One time, I received a message from my spiritual support team that I had another forty-four inner children to heal. Yikes! I thought. And yet, even after healing the first one or two I had noticed myself being less triggered. To date, I’ve healed at least twenty-two and am feeling hugely proud of myself because it really has been a life-changer. Whenever a trigger situation comes up, I go through it again based on the situation and rescue another beautiful inner child. I use the free tools provided on YouTube by Jen Peters and can vouchsafe that they work for me. If this is something that resonates, you can find her website here.

Posted in Inspiration, Personal Story

I Celebrate You and I Celebrate Me

I am in my centre, my truth and my truth is love.  Let love flow from my heart, from every cell and pore of my body and being.  Let love be my song, let my words speak only of love, let my eyes see only love and may all that I touch be imbued with love. 

I have been talking about my truth which is a part of my personal journey towards myself, towards my centre, my truth.  I feel that this journey is a spiral, in the sense that we keep coming back to it at higher levels.  Even when we feel we know ourselves, have found ourselves, connected to ourselves, that we are in our centre, our truth, there is still going to come an opportunity in the future for a greater level of clarity and completeness to unfold.  A greater depth, a greater truth to be touched. 

I am at the beginning of my journey, relatively speaking, I’ve spent most of my life in a major state of disassociation with myself. So, for me at the moment, it’s an incredible experience to feel so much more connected with myself, to sense myself when I’m standing at my centre, and I feel so blessed, I feel like celebrating.

I am celebrating myself and as I say that, the first thought that pops into my awareness from my persona is the shame or wrongness of celebrating oneself, the guilt, the selfishness of celebrating oneself.  But it isn’t wrong, shameful or guilty, it isn’t selfish.  It is, in fact, self love.  I do it not at the expense of anyone else, I do it in such an all-encompassing way as to be inclusive of everyone, as if to say, “I am here and I am celebrating myself.  Why don’t you celebrate yourself?  Why not?  Let’s all celebrate ourselves, let’s all love ourselves to the extent that we are in celebration of who we are, what we are, what our truth is and where we are in our lives, where we are in our truth.” 

So, perhaps I might inspire you to do the same. And in celebrating myself, I celebrate and own all my incredible achievements and qualities, I accept all the compliments that have ever been given me, I don’t dismiss or diminish them. I acknowledge that many of my gifts have arisen as strategies for my coping with wounds and traumas.

For example, as a little girl I spent a huge amount of time reading books.  At every opportunity, I was to be found with a book.  I lived in my imagination, either in the imaginative world of a story book, or daydreaming in my personal creation of story, where everything was beautiful and perfect, where I could be special and loved.  And the consequence is that through my saturation into the written word I became skilled at writing, which has become one of my gifts and is my preferred medium for communicating.   

I see now that I had my head in books because my life was so difficult, it was escapism and I chose to pour myself into my art because I was desperate to be liked and appreciated and it was a way I could achieve a sense of admiration. 

I think it’s true for many of us that in adversity our gifts come to the fore, they become our gifts because they work for us as a way of coping with our wounds and traumas.  It may be the reason a person becomes a comedian, a musician, a magician, a naturalist or astronaut; to feel popular, impress a parent, escape from reality. 

That’s very much the interplay of the dark and the light, the shadows and sunshine that are our lives.  We celebrate ourselves today with everything that we are, with the dark that we are and the light that we are.  With the pains, problems and difficulties that we bear and the blessings, gifts and abundance that enrich us.  So much of it all is simply a matter of perspective, simply a question of how we choose to look at ourselves and our lives.  Let’s celebrate.  There’s always something to celebrate within ourselves.  Celebrate us, our life, being alive and all that we hold in our hearts, all our gifts and talents, all our strengths and all of the challenges that bring us to places of growth and learning.  I celebrate you and I celebrate me.   

Posted in Abundance and lack, inner child, Personal Story

Embracing a Purer Existence

For some time, moving towards a purer existence has been encouraged by my guides and soul.  A pure existence can mean a number of things and will not be the same for each person.  It means what I put in my body in terms of eating and drinking.  It means the kind of energy that I surround myself with, the people I interact with, the activities I choose to engage with, the music I listen to, reducing the mind-numbing use of my laptop and phone, the kind of TV programmes and films I watch.  It can even mean the colours I choose to wear, white being my favourite for purity.  It means taking walks in nature, being amongst the woodland trees and visiting the coast.  It means spending time with the cats.  It means making every moment mindful, every moment a state of meditation.  It means listening to my body and giving myself what I need when I need it, sleep, movement, singing, a break, alone time, social time.  It means loving myself.

When it comes to food and drink, my body has been reacting for some time, in a detrimental manner, to certain substances.  These are things that my body cannot tolerate and they affect me detrimentally on every level; physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.  They make me sick, cause my mood to drop and deplete my energy, both in terms of vitality and my ability to connect to spirit.  I simply don’t have a choice about it and it has been a fight sometimes.  These substances have to be removed or at least diminished in my life.  They include alcohol, wheat, caffeine, cooking oils and meat.  But the truth is, it’s not about a list of dietary requirements, it’s about attitude, embracing a state of love and appreciation for myself, for my body, listening to my body with respect and acting in love and gratitude. 

For years, I have struggled with an eating disorder leading to over-eating and obesity.  Like many people, I have tried all sorts of ways to change this, diets and restrictions of eating.  Now, I am finding the most radical and unrealistic approach of all is coming into the light for me. 

Have you heard the word ‘breatharian’?  Also known as living off light, it refers to people who don’t need to eat anymore because they have reprogrammed their beings, body, mind and spirit, to find all its nourishment from the light we are naturally breathing in.  They go through a process of changing their body’s access to the fuel it needs, which is pretty challenging, and then use breathing to feed their body’s needs.  As soon as I heard about it, I was intrigued.  Since then, I have researched it.  I know that I’m not yet ready to go through such a profound process of change but that I am moving towards it.  Now, my entire attitude to food is coming from an awareness of this being the reality I am moving to.

So, what’s different?  Now, I enjoy the experience of seeing how long it takes before my body tells me it’s time to eat, instead of eating at mealtimes.  Yesterday, it wasn’t until 4.30pm. 

I am no longer running to the fridge the moment my tummy rumbles, in fact, I can sit and enjoy the feeling of being empty for a while and realise it’s okay.

When I eat, I am learning to be amazed at how little I actually need to feel satisfied.  I’m a lot more comfortable that way than when I take more food.

I am eating a lot more fruit, in fact, the majority of my diet is raw food.  I am eating purer food, not out of a packet or tin.  I am taking an attitude of curiosity to food, trying different things and finding new combinations.  I am liking things I used to avoid and happily avoiding things I used to like.

I am drinking a pint of water and a mug of warm water with organic apple cider vinegar and half a lemon upon waking.  Then, I wait at least an hour before eating.  I have water with me all day long. 

The upshot is I eat a lot less and feel better for it.  I eat a lot more healthily and enjoy it.  I am getting on with things and food is not taking the front focus it was.  Of course, I couldn’t have got here at all without first having healed my inner child enough to overcome my trigger behaviour of comfort eating.  My warped relationship with food has always been about lack consciousness.  Lack of love, fear of going without, fear of starving.  This is about my learning to love myself from within, about my inner child feeling loved, about my inner child feeling reassured that the old fears are not there anymore.  This is all about self-love.